


Gackt X Kami Drabble Collection

by VampireHydeFTW



Series: Drabbles [1]
Category: Malice Mizer
Genre: Drabble Collection, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-30
Updated: 2018-03-24
Packaged: 2019-02-24 04:25:21
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 50
Words: 32,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13205922
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/VampireHydeFTW/pseuds/VampireHydeFTW
Summary: This is a collection of all the Gackt X Kami drabbles I've written over the years.





	1. Fifteen Minutes

            In fifteen minutes Kami would get his answer from the vocalist but until then he was left on his own, nervously pacing his grand home wishing time would just pass faster. Was it true what Yu~ki said? Did Gackt love him more than anyone else on this planet? Or was Mana right, Gackt didn't care for him in that way? He'd put his heart on the line today, told Gackt how he felt but all he had been given was silence and a promise that at five he would come and give him an answer.

            Gackt was playing with him, Kami knew that, and hated the other for teasing him. Making his stress out only to reject him? Gackt was a cruel man and was bound to break Kami's heart, just like he had broken Mana's. Why else would he not give Kami the answer he had asked for earlier that day?

            Time passed slowly, every second lasting an hour, until Kami was about to despair. He needed no answer now, he already knew it. Gackt hated him. He was sadistic and cruel, even he admitted it. Boasted about how much of an “S type” he was. When Gackt came, he’d give him a piece of his mind.

            Then the knock on the door came and Kami flung it open with renewed hope. Who was he to doubt Gackt? Was he not here now standing on his door step with a large bouquet of red roses?

            “Gackt?” Kami asked hopefully, unable to wait any longer, though the vocalist seemed to insist the moment was to be dragged out forever.

            “Sorry I made you wait but I had to reply with flowers.” Gackt explained, handing over the bouquet.

            “Why? Why couldn't you have simply answered before?” Kami demanded.

            “Because, actions speak louder than words and I wanted you to know from the beginning that I love you,” Gackt explained. “That I care for you, and that when I say yes to you, it will never become a no.”


	2. There's No Such Thing As Mana

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> This short story was written as response to a story a friend wrote called "There's No Such Thing As Gackt".

Gackt entered the practise room feeling apprehensive, though he wasn't sure why. Something about today felt off and as his eyes fell on the man besides their band leader, Közi, he knew instantly that this was the cause.  
“What's going on?” Gackt asked, casting his eyes over his three band mates for answers.  
“Gackt, this is Mana he's joining Malice.” Közi explained.  
“As another guitarist?” Gackt correctly guessed.  
“That's right.” Mana replied, with a smile that for some unknown reason sent chills straight to Gackt's heart.  
Practice ran smoothly for maybe half an hour but suddenly something shifted, Mana was taking the lead. Bossing the others about and by lunch time Gackt found himself isolated and alone. Even his lover Kami seemed to be under Mana's spell and only he could see how nasty the new guitarist was being.  
“Yu~ki get me my lunch,” Mana ordered, with a hand gesture that said 'shoo'. “Kami, brush my hair and Közi... I'm horny.”  
“Yes, my love.” Közi said, dropping to his knees and unzipping Mana's trousers. It was too much for Gackt who stormed out of the room in disgust.

Afternoon rehearsal came and Gackt reluctantly re-joined the band he no longer felt a part of. His vocals were off and everyone knew it, many comments were made in his direction, none of them good. The end of the day couldn't come soon enough and Gackt longed to run home with Kami and try to forget how bad today had been.  
“See you tomorrow.” Gackt called over his shoulder, only to get stopped.  
“About that,” Közi spoke up. “Don't bother coming in.”  
“How come?” Gackt asked.  
“Because, pretty boy, you're fired.” Mana replied, smirking as his voice dripped with venom and malicious intent. “We don't need you.”  
“What?” Gackt asked stunned but his question wasn't answered as he found Yu~ki pushing him out of the door and locking it behind him. Through the glass he saw his former band mates laughing and pretty much worshipping Mana, he even saw Kami's kiss the new guitarist and heartbroken he went home.

The next day was even worse, as Gackt woke up with nothing to do, idly he wandered into the garden and found Kami's head on a pike right in the centre. He screamed in horror as he took in the sight before running over and reading the note. “We didn't need him either.” With gasping sobs Gackt fell to his knees and cried, his body shaking uncontrollably. It felt like somebody was shaking him and he wanted to be sick. Closing his eyes to hide the sight in front of him, Gackt curled up into a foetal position and shook.   
“Gackt, calm down,” Kami encouraged and stunned Gackt opened his eyes to find himself in his own bed staring up at his concerned lover. “It's just a dream.”  
“Just a dream?” Gackt repeated. “Oh god! It felt so real.”  
“What happened?” Kami asked curious.  
“We had this new band mate, Mana. He was horrible, like some kind of seduction demon or something. You guys all worshipped him and then you ganged up against me and kicked me out of the band.” Gackt explained.  
“And that made you wake up screaming and crying?” Kami asked, still confused.  
“No, that part was when I found your head on a pike. He'd killed you too.” Gackt explained and with a gentle smile Kami wrapped his arms around Gackt and gave him a soft kiss on the top of his head. Never once had he doubted Gackt's love for him and it was moments like this that reinforced his trust.  
“It's OK Gackt, Mana doesn't exist.” Kami said sympathetically.  
“Mana doesn't exist,” Gackt repeated letting the information sink in. “He won't kick me out of Malice, he won't kill you and my life is the same as it ever was.”  
“That's right,” Kami agreed. “There's no such thing as Mana.”  
“But there is a Kami,” Gackt replied with a smile. “And for that I'm more than grateful, just promise me one thing. Don't call me 'pretty boy' for a while.”  
“Why, doesn't pretty boy like it?” Kami teased.  
“No seriously, don't,” Gackt replied firmly. “That's what he called me.”  
“Then I’ll just call you sexy instead.” Kami promised, never one to make somebody truly suffer.


	3. Doujinshi

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami always had enjoyed reading fan doujinshi but after awhile it starts to get to him.

Kami was reading a doujinshi sent in by a fan. Full Yaoi of Gackt and himself that made him smile. It was so nice to see a fan had got it right for a change. Though it was getting more and more common for fans to clock onto the truth. Still none had it completely right. Not yet. They always wrote Gackt as some kind of out of control sex manic, with himself being the gentle sensitive type who always yielded to Gackt's advances. Fictional Gackt had his good points too. He was always there when Kami was upset or in trouble, but often that was his only positive character trait.  
Why was it that nobody could see the full truth? More often than not it was Kami who was the instigator, though Gackt did normally like being seme after Kami had got him in the mood. And he wasn't entirely helpless. He's been the one looking after Gackt, just as much as Gackt looked after him.  
“Something bothering you?” Gackt asked, startling Kami who was on the verge of hiding the doujinshi before realising it was only Gackt. The only person who knew he not only read but enjoyed these doujinshi's.  
“Why do these always have me as some kind of helpless uke?” Kami asked Gackt.  
“Because they know it's what every sex crazed lunatic wants,” Gackt answered, as he sat down on the sofa besides Kami and rested a hand on Kami's thigh reassuringly. “Don't let it bother you so much.”  
“But...” Kami began to protest but Gackt interrupted.  
“When people compliment you, listen. When they upset you, ignore it.” Gackt explained with a grin.  
“That sounds like a recipe for a huge ego.” Kami said, finally managing to smile despite his worries.

A few days later Kami was once again alone reading his fan mail. Yet another doujinshi had arrived but this time it was different. Whoever had made this was a lot more on the ball than any fan before. Right down to Kami's teasing and playful touches becoming wild and passionate sex. In fact, he would have thought the fan knew too much if it wasn't for Gackt's constant need to call him “Darling Sweet Pea.”. Not that fictional Kami's pet name for Gackt was any better. “Lovely Baby”? In fact, the names were so out there that Kami began to become suspicious. Putting the doujinshi away he studied the letter again, there was no signs that this was anything other than fan mail but Kami knew better.

That night as Kami was cooking dinner for his lover, he decided to put his theory to the test. Turning to Gackt he smiled knowingly.  
“So Lovely Baby, how was your day?” Kami asked.  
“What kind of name is that?” Gackt asked sounding offended.  
“Oh come off it Gackt, you were up all night the other day,” Kami replied. “You knew how much those doujinshi's were getting to me and decided to do something about it.”  
“So, what if I did?” Gackt asked.  
“Then you'd be an incredibly sweet and thoughtful boyfriend.” Kami replied.  
“I can live with that,” Gackt said grinning. “Though don't let anybody else know.”  
“Sure. Just no more pet names.” Kami said with a smile.  
“Never. I will always call you Kamifly.” Gackt replied.  
“Yes well, that one I can live with.” Kami answered, turning his attention back to the oven. Gackt's attempt to cheer him up had been as transparent as glass but that didn't matter. Gackt had been right from the beginning. What the fans thought didn't mean much. Reality was what was important and right now his reality was heaven.


	4. Strawberry Kisses

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami had hoped Gackt would never notice he had never given him a blowjob but such things can't be left alone forever.

“Kami, why is it you never want to suck me off?” Gackt asked out of the blue. His words weren't accusing or spiteful, just curious. Besides him on the bed Kami gave him a look that would be perfect for a deer trapped in the headlights of an oncoming truck. He'd been dreading this day for a while but now it had come he knew his only choice was complete honesty. Gackt deserved that.  
“You know you're the only man I've ever been with,” Kami replied carefully. “It's not something I've ever done before.”  
“You're nervous?” Gackt guessed.  
“No that's not it,” Kami replied. “I guess it's because it's so gay to do that and I'm not entirely sure if I'm ready to be gay just yet.”  
“Giving a man a blow job is gay but being taken from behind on a regular basis isn't?” Gackt teased.  
“Yeah, because when we have sex you’re in control. I just submit and let it happen, I'm not the instigator and I don't have to do anything to make it pleasurable for you. You're in control.” Kami replied.  
“Yeah, but you don't just lie there!” Gackt pointed out, making Kami blush bright red. “I think it's time you took that step and admit to yourself your gay.” He added kindly.  
“I have!” Kami argued. “OK not entirely....”  
“Please, I really want to feel your mouth around my enormous erection.” Gackt replied with emphasis on enormous. Trust Gackt to brag at a time like this.  
“I don't think it will fit in my mouth.” Kami teased, using Gackt's own words against him.  
“It'll fit,” Gackt replied. “Come out of the closet, for me?”  
“I don't know...” Kami replied hesitantly and though he hadn't consented Gackt knew he had won by just the suggestion that Kami was thinking about it.  
“You don't need to worry if you're not amazing straight away, whatever you give will be the foundation we work with to make you the best.” Gackt reassured Kami.  
“You're really not giving up, are you?” Kami asked.  
“No. I'm determined to get you to do this today.” Gackt informed Kami, as he retried two small boxes from the bedside table. “Look I'm even prepared for if you're worried about getting anything in your mouth.”  
“Flavoured condoms?” Kami asked, pleasantly surprised at just how thoughtful Gackt was being. It occurred to the drummer that no matter what excuse he could have given Gackt, the other would have had a counter argument. Once again he realised just how futile it was to argue with his lover.  
“Strawberry or chocolate?” Gackt asked.  
“Chocolate sounds like something Yu~ki would use.” Kami informed Gackt who in turn handed Kami the box of strawberry condoms and tossed the chocolate ones aside. His lover still looked nervous but Gackt knew that Kami would perform now he had accepted the gift.  
“We'll start slow. Your lips on mine and just you're hand for stimulation.” Gackt decided lying back and smiling as his lover lay beside him. Their lips locked in a gentle kiss and Gackt's arm snaked around Kami in an embrace. Tongues met as both demanded access to the others mouth but it was Gackt who submitted, knowing his lover’s courage needed to be rewarded.  
Kami kissed Gackt for a while before he dared to move his hand to Gackt's crotch and efficiently removed enough clothing to free Gackt's penis. With eyes shut Kami just imagined he was touching himself and soon found the hand job was no different, only without the pleasure. Even this was new territory to Kami who, despite what Gackt claimed, had never been anything but a willing partner. He was no instigator of anything, not even a kiss, but perhaps Gackt was right. Perhaps now was time he stopped hesitating and just accepted once and for all that he was gay. Well Gackt was hard now and he was responsible for it so perhaps he should dive into the deep end and give his lover the best blow job he was capable off.  
His heart beating frantically Kami broke the kiss and picked up the box of strawberry condoms which he opened carefully and pulled out one of the small packets. Trying to ignore the reality of the situation Kami ripped open the packet and placed the condom over Gackt's erection once again imagining it was his own body he was touching.  
'Dive into the deep end'. Kami ordered himself holding his hair back and bending over towards Gackt's erection. Closing his eyes, he gently licked the tip surprised at the sweet strawberry taste that filled his mouth. He hadn't expected the condom to taste so nice! This made things a lot easier and it occurred to him that Gackt probably had bought the condoms for this very reason.  
'Just like licking a lollipop.' Kami told himself, keeping his eyes shut and running his tongue along Gackt's length. The strawberry taste was truly delicious and inspired Kami to take greater steps in pleasuring Gackt, taking in as much of Gackt's length as he felt comfortable doing, Kami began to suck hungrily, enjoying the sounds of pleasure escaping Gackt's mouth. There was power in being the bringer of pleasure and Kami found himself enjoying the act he had been so scared of.  
'Fear truly is in the unknown' Kami realised, as he wrapped his hand around the base of Gackt's erection and began to rub gently in time with the movements of his mouth. In moving his hand from his hair, the long strands fell across Gackt's legs hiding him completely. His hair always had been a shield and within its safety Kami got more and more adventurous, until Gackt finally came into the condom with a moan of pure bliss.  
Feeling shy Kami sat up and wondered what the proper etiquette for this situation would be. Removing the condom felt like a safe bet so he did just that, tossing it into a bin before finally managing to meet Gackt's gaze. He had feared his lover's expression would somehow have changed, now he had performed such an act and sure enough it had, only it wasn't disgust or perverted lust that converted Gackt's features into a ugly mask. Instead Gackt looked happy and serene and as he smiled up at Kami the word the drummer found best described his lover’s expression was pride.  
“Lie with me. I want to tell you all about a beautiful sexy man who finally came out of the closet. He truly is a man to be proud to have at your side.” Gackt ordered Kami who obeyed with a happy smile of his own. He knew Gackt was layering on the praise a little to keep him happy but it the words didn't fail in their purpose and after Gackt had finished and they had lay together in comfortable silence for a long time Kami decided to ask a question.  
“Gackt? Do those condoms come in any other flavours? Only the strawberry ones are truly delicious.”


	5. Life Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Upon finding his vampire lover half dead, it is up to Gackt to save his life.

            “Kami!” Gackt screamed, with equal parts anger and horror. Before him his lover was being tortured by a group of vampire hunters who, upon seeing the vampire had backup, scattered in all directions. Gackt would have chased them down but he was too concerned about the other vampire to get his revenge.

            “Gackt?” Kami asked, opening a bruised eye just a little to check he really was being saved.

            “It's me.” Gackt reassured Kami and in response the other fainted, knowing he was now safe. “My poor Kamifly.” Gackt remarked sadly, as he began to undo the silver chains holding Kami still. His flesh burned at the touch of the metal but he ignored the pain and as soon as the other was free he took him in his arms and walked out of the abandoned warehouse, with a face of thunder. Kami hadn't deserved this, he was one of the gentlest creatures Gackt had ever met. Kami had never once killed.

            Gackt carried Kami all the way to his home and climbed the stairs to their bedroom. Here he lay his lover on their bed, as gently as he could, before pushing a few strands of hair away from Kami's face with the lightest of touches. He took in the full extent of the damage and was less than pleased with what he saw. It had taken him several hours to find Kami and the hunters had clearly been having fun. It occurred to Gackt that the other was currently fighting of the true death. He needed blood and he needed it now.

            “You-San!” Gackt screamed at the top of his voice, calling for his human lover. It was normal for a vampire to have many human partners, as they were their primary food source. Still despite the blood a human had to offer, a vampire’s true soul mate would always be another vampire and in Gackt's case his soul mate was Kami.

            “I'm not letting a starving vampire drink from me,” You said defiantly, as he entered the room and saw Kami on the bed. He knew why he was here but he wasn't risking his life for the vampires. It was You's defiance that had attracted Gackt to him in the first place but right now he was just being a pain.

            “He's going to die!” Gackt exclaimed. “He needs blood.”

            “Why should I give up my life for his?” You demanded stubbornly.

            “It's Kami. He's never killed!” Gackt reminded You, who raised his eyebrow quizzically.

            “Has he ever been like this before?” You asked and frustrated Gackt had to accept You's words. It was too dangerous to let his favourite human go near his lover but there was no other human around.

            “What if...” Gackt began. “I have an idea. Let me bite you.”

            “How will that help?” You asked but the vampire had already let his fangs grow out and was reaching for his wrist. You gave no protests and simply watched curious as Gackt took a mouth full of his blood before leaving him to crawl on the bed beside his lover.

            Placing his lips over Kami, Gackt let the blood flow from him to his lover and getting the picture, You offered out his bleeding arm for Gackt to take a second mouthful. Slowly but surely You's blood was transferred to Kami and some of the bruising began to disappear. His cuts healed up and then suddenly the vampire was awake and grabbed for You's wrist with the look of the beast in his eyes.

            “No.” Gackt said firmly, pinning Kami down before him. “You are not to touch my human.” The vampire only let out a frustrated growl and Gackt knew he was still too hungry to think straight. “Just a little more.” Gackt said to You, who was on the other side of the room now watching the red-haired vampire warily. As nervously as he had been the first time he had let Gackt feed, You approached the dark-haired vampire and once again offered his wrist.

            “I don't think I have much more to give.” You said, feeling a little faint as he watched Gackt give his blood to Kami.

            “Two more mouthfuls and I'll heal the wound.” Gackt promised, taking another and once again letting Kami drink the warm blood. He repeated the process once more, before wiping a little of Kami's own blood from his chest and wiped it across the bite in You's wrist, knowing the vampire blood would heal him instantly.

            “Go lie down.” Gackt suggested, realising that no matter how tough You was acting he had lost a lot of blood, probably more than was actually safe. Still he was young and healthy and should recover given time.

            “Yeah...” You agreed. “But you owe me Gackt.”  
            “I know. Thank you.” Gackt said with such genuine heartfelt thanks that the human couldn't help but smile, before heading to his room where he collapsed onto his bed and fell asleep almost straight away.

            “Gackt I'm hungry.” Kami complained, his fangs still out and a look of pure misery on his face.

            “I know. We need to go find one of your humans,” Gackt responded. “You've already drank too much of mine.”

            “I'm hungry now.” Kami complained and frustrated it occurred to Gackt that it wasn't safe to let Kami out of the house like this. He needed blood now and there was only one blood source left in this house that hadn't already been drained to their limits.

            “I love you so much,” Gackt said gently tracing his hand across Kami's cheek. “Take some of mine.”

            “I can't drink from you!” Kami said, blushing at the concept.

            “Why not?” Gackt asked.

            “Because you’re a vampire. You’re not food.” Kami complained. “It's humiliating for a vampire to be used that way!”

            “I know,” Gackt replied. “But I love you and if you go out like this you might just ruin your no kill record.”

            “Nobody will ever know.” Kami promised, as he raised his head and buried his fangs into Gackt's neck. This blood was different than You's. It tasted of power and contained the very magic that kept a vampire alive. It reminded Kami of a time when he had drunk from Gackt frequently, before he had turned Gackt into his immortal soul mate. Ironic how some of the life he had given Gackt was now coming back to him.

            “I've got control now,” Kami said pulling away, unwilling to drink more than necessary. “Enough to find one of my humans.”

            “Good,” Gackt replied. “Though I think now I need to find another one of mine and then...”

            “Don't!” Kami exclaimed. “Don't you dare try to track down those vampire hunters alone!”

            “I need to get your revenge.” Gackt replied firmly.

            “My revenge is mine,” Kami corrected. “Let's do this together.”

            “OK. But don't get hurt OK? I'm running out of humans.” Gackt joked and Kami smiled.

            “I know. I won't get hurt,” Kami promised. “But you're not to get hurt either.”

            “My pain is your pain. I won't let that happen.” Gackt promised, sealing the deal with a long and tender kiss.


	6. Sleeping Angel

            It was just after six in the morning when Gackt woke up, lazily he stretched and rolled over to find Kami fast asleep next to him. Surprised at first before he remembered the events of the night before. How Kami had been crying on his doorstep and how he had wrapped his arms around his friend until the tears had subsided enough for Kami to talk. It made Gackt mad to think that anyone could hurt Kami like this but that was what his girlfriend had done. To cheat on Kami was unthinkable but she had. In their bed no less. Kami had hit the bottle hard last night and that was why he was now here, in Gackt’s bed.

He looked like a sleeping angel, his long red hair falling across the pillow and across his face. Gently Gackt reached over and brushed the strands of hair away. Kami’s hair was so soft but the drummer always had taken good care of it.

It was nice to see Kami so at peace after the events of the night before. If only Kami could be like this all the time. But eventually he would wake up and his grief would return to him. If only Gackt could erase all of Kami’s pain. If only Kami could sleep forever. An angel at peace. Unable to resist Gackt leant forward and placed a kiss on Kami’s forehead causing Kami to stir but not awaken.

With a sad smile Gackt got out of bed and headed toward the bathroom to wash. Pausing at the doorway he looked upon Kami once more and smiled. Not because Kami was beautiful, although he was. No, he smiled because it had just occurred to him that out of all Kami’s many friends, it had been him that Kami had turned to in his grief.

“You were right to come to me,” Gackt thought. “I’ll protect you and keep you from pain. I have no choice you see. I love you.”


	7. Sweet Dreams

Silently he opened the bedroom door and looked upon the sleeping man. His angel. He had been so determined to stay awake for his lover’s return. Look he was still dressed in a white t shirt and jeans. His long hair sprayed across the bed as he lay curled up on his side. He looked so innocent you’d have expected him to be sucking his thumb like a child. Instead his hands clutched onto a small box. A present for the watcher’s birthday. The watcher smiled and took the box but was unwilling to open the gift, as it hadn’t been given to him. The sleeper would want to be awake when he opened it. Placing it on the night stand he got into bed himself and wrapped an arm across the sleeper’s back. Instinctively the sleeping man curled up against him craving his touch. Smiling he leant forward and kissed the sleeping man’s cheek.  
“Goodnight Kami,” Gackt whispered as he turned of the light. “Sweet dreams.”

Author's Note: Why was Gackt late home? Is Kami mad at him for not coming home? If it's Gackt's birthday, why was Kami not with him? These are all questions I failed to answer in this drabble. Not even sure why I originally posted it, but here it is again. Enjoy!


	8. Gackt and The Porn Magazine

            “Now it’s time for my present!” Yu~ki announced the moment Gackt had opened his gift from Kami. He had wanted Gackt to open his present first but the vocalist had ignored him and opened Kami’s instead. Yu~ki supposed it was fair that Gackt opened his boyfriend’s present first but no way was he letting any of the others beat him to it.

            “Wait. Let me put this necklace on!” Gackt complained. as he fiddled with the clasp on Kami’s gift. “There done.” Gackt announced proudly. as he gave Kami a quick kiss on the lips rewarding them both with a jealous look from Mana.

            “Open it!” Yu~ki encouraged and Gackt obeyed. His eyes widened at the gift.

            “Why have you got me a porn magazine?” Gackt asked.

            “I got you other stuff too.” Yu~ki announced handing a few more presents over. Gackt opened them to reveal many perverted gifts, some chocolate and some tight, deep red, trousers and smiled. Now this was a present he actually liked.

            Next came Mana and Közi’s presents, followed by some cake of which Gackt ate the tiniest slice imaginable just to be polite. Unfortunately, they then had to leave for a photo shoot and the party celebrations were delayed until that evening.

            Because it was Gackt’s birthday Mana announced that Kami could take his place in the fan service pictures and so instead of the usual Gackt and Mana pictures there were several Gackt and Kami. Unfortunately, Mana decided that the two looked too happy in them the following day and replaced them with pictures of himself and Közi.

           

            Kami emerged from the shower and returned to his bedroom, only to catch Gackt naked on the bed, his hair still wet, reading the porn Yu~ki had given him.

            “Gackt!” Kami snapped upset.

            “What!” Gackt complained, not entirely sure of what had upset his lover.

            “Why are you reading that filth?” Kami demanded.

            “It’s not filth. It’s perfectly natural for a man to look at naked women,” Gackt complained. “I am bi, remember.”

            “Aren’t I good enough for you?” Kami complained and Gackt sighed.

            “Of course you are. I’m only looking because I thought you wouldn’t mind.” Gackt promised.

            “Sure you are.” Kami said still upset.

            “I am. If I knew you’d be upset I would have binned it.” Gackt argued and then to make his point he ripped the page in half.

            “That was your birthday present from Yu~ki!” Kami gasped.

            “Well I’m not having anything in this house that might upset you.” Gackt announced, as he ripped the magazine again.

            “Gackt…” Kami began carefully. “You know I was only pretending to be mad right?”

            “I know,” Gackt confirmed. “You wanted me to comfort you, didn’t you.”

            “Yeah.” Kami agreed, with a shy smile.

            “Come here then.” Gackt encouraged waiting for his lover to get into the bed. “There. Now I can comfort you properly. Though we’re both going to need showers by the time I finished.”

            “I wouldn’t want it any other way.” Kami said with a smile as Gackt kissed away any worries he may have had.


	9. Sharing My Insanity

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Unable to sleep, Gackt begins to question his sanity.

            Gackt lay on his bed in the tour bus unable to sleep. It been a long time since he had to sleep alone, instead of with his lover Kami beside him, but it looked like tonight there would be no choice. Logically he knew it was pathetic that a grown man couldn't sleep alone but emotionally he needed Kami. The sweet scent from Kami's hair, the warmth of his body beside him, the feeling of bliss when in the arms of someone who clearly loved him. Gackt needed all of these things to get to sleep and right now he had none of them.

            It wasn't even like Kami was far away. Only the next bed over, they could literally hold hands if they wanted, they were so close, but it wasn't close enough. He needed Kami so bad that it was beginning to scare him a little. Especially when the thought of actually pulling out a few strands of Kami's hair to place on his pillow crossed his mind.

            Clearly he was insane. Why had nobody informed him of this new development? Maybe they were too scared to tell him. That made sense, people didn't like to question his mental stability, as such comments often made him mad.

            “Gackt are you awake?” Kami asked quietly, causing Gackt to decide to take a break from his thoughts in favour of participating in reality.

            “Yeah. I told you before, I never sleep.” Gackt joked.

            “I'm cold.” Kami commented and Gackt frowned as it wasn't a cold night.

            “Are you sick?” Gackt asked.

            “Maybe I'm coming down with something. Come warm me up?” Kami asked and Gackt smiled as he realised why the drummer was awake. He wasn't sick at all, he was lonely.

            “Of course.” Gackt agreed, quickly leaving his bed and getting into Kami's. The bed was small but it could fit the two of them when they lay in each other’s arms, so that was what they did.

            “For the record I'm awake too,” Közi informed them. “And I can hear you.”

            “Why would that concern us?” Gackt asked.

            “Because one of you is a sex addict, well on the way to bringing the other down to their level.” Közi replied. Rolling his eyes Gackt decided to ignore the guitarist and focus on his lover instead.

            “Kami,” He whispered, knowing Közi couldn't hear this. “Is it possible that you're sharing my insanity?”

            “So, you're the sex addict?” Kami whispered back, assuming Gackt was referring to Közi's comments.

            “No, forget that,” Gackt replied. “What I meant was, were you once a sensible mature adult who now finds himself unable to sleep in a bed all by himself?”

            “Yes,” Kami replied “I share your insanity.”

            “Oh, good.” Gackt replied. “I'm not alone.”

            “I won't let you be alone.” Kami commented and Gackt smiled, knowing it was true. As long as Kami was around he'd never have to be alone in anything ever again. Finally feeling sleepy he shut his eyes and quickly drifted off, completely unaware of Kami smirking beside him.

            “And he claims he never sleeps.” Kami commented to Közi, who he could tell was still awake.

            “He's clearly a liar, watch out for that.” The guitarist advised, feeling relieved the sex addict was now asleep so he could finally rest without worrying what he was up to.

            “I wonder what else he's been lying about.” Kami commented.

            “His age. Now let me sleep.” Közi replied, which Kami decided was a good thing to do. He was tired too and now he had Gackt here to protect him sleep would come soon enough. Shutting his eyes, he breathed in the familiar scent beside him and found sleep more than willing to take his mind away from reality, if only for a little while.


	10. Cold Shower

            When Gackt arrived home, Kami was standing on their driveway washing his car. Pulling up beside him Gackt let his window down and smiled at the man before him. Though his hair was messily tied back in a ponytail and he was wearing some old ripped jeans and a faded t-shirt, Kami was the most beautiful person Gackt had seen all day.

            “Hey sexy, want to wash me after that car?” Gackt asked Kami, who simply blushed, not liking Gackt talking like that when a neighbour might hear.

            “Sorry, I think you have the wrong house.” Kami answered, making Gackt laugh. Turning back to his car Kami heard Gackt get out of his and his footsteps approaching him.

            “I think I have the right house.” Gackt commented, as his hand rested on Kami's butt and gave it a gentle squeeze before letting go with a wink.

            “I need to finish the car.” Kami complained, but as Gackt's lips met his he knew the car was never going to get finished. Dropping the hose pipe, he wrapped his arms around Gackt's neck and kissed his lover back, helpless to resist.

            “You sure you need to finish the car?” Gackt asked as he let Kami go.

            “No, I'm not sure.” Kami replied, picking up the hose pipe. “I think I need to give someone a cold shower.” He added, turning the hose pipe on Gackt, who tried to dodge the cold water but failed.  Kami soaked Gackt until he was dripping wet before turning off the hose pipe with a satisfied grin.

            “I'm going to get a cold,” Gackt complained. “Somebody needs to help me get off these wet clothes.”

            “I wonder where you can find a person willing to do that?” Kami asked, with almost perfect innocence.

            “I wonder.” Gackt agreed, grabbing Kami's hand and leading him towards the house. A lot could be said about Gackt and Kami's relationship but nobody could ever say it was passionless or boring.


	11. Liar

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami was happy, Gackt has just told him that he loved him and it was time he came out to his friends. However arriving at work he learns that Mana has got there first!

            Kami entered the recording studio in a good mood. He'd just had another passionate night with Gackt, which was great in itself, but last night Gackt had admitted that he loved him! It was enough to convince Kami that he should really tell his friend that he was gay and dating Gackt. He prayed that they'd understand but knew as long as he had Gackt he could cope with whatever reaction the others had. Telling his family was a different issue entirely but that would come later.

            “Hi!” Kami greeted Közi and Yu~ki happily, seeing Mana was behind the glass already recording his part.

            “You'll never guess what's just happened,” Közi got out quickly. “Mana and Gackt finally hooked up.”

            “They what?” Kami asked stunned. When had this happened? Only last night Gackt was telling him that he loved him!

            “Yeah. Mana just told us. He and Gackt are officially a couple.” Yu~ki explained, seeing the confusion on Kami's face.

            “Something wrong Kami?” Közi asked, noticing the drummer didn't share his joy over the news.

            “When did this happen?” Kami asked, unable to believe Gackt was cheating on him.

            “Last night,” Közi answered. “Why?”

            “Was that there first time?” Kami asked, finding himself able to smile at the news now he knew Mana was almost defiantly lying.

            “Yeah. Gackt finally accepted Mana's advances. Apparently, it was wild.” Yu~ki said grinning.

            “I see. I'd better go congratulate him.” Kami said with a huge smile. Did Mana really think a lie like this would work?

            “Oh Kami... it's meant to be secret so don't bring it up in front of Gackt. He'll only get mad at Mana.” Yu~ki called after Kami, who could barely hold back his laughter.

 

            “Hey Mana, I hear you had sex with Gackt last night.” Kami said, still smiling.

            “Did they tell you?” Mana asked, managing to act innocent in his lie. “I hope they told you not to spread it around.”

            “They did,” Kami replied. “So, who went on top.”

            “I did,” Mana responded. “Gackt's an amazing lover. So caring and considerate.”

            “Yeah. I know.” Kami replied.

            “What?” Mana asked stunned.

            “When we have sex he always makes sure I'm having fun. He can drag out the foreplay for hours. Gentle but strong and always loving. Gackt wasn't fucking you last night Mana, he was making love to me.” Kami finished, watching the shock and disbelieve cross Mana's face. “Your pathetic.” He finished, storming out of the room wishing Gackt had been there to see Mana's face.

 

            “Kami what did you say to him? He looks furious.” Közi asked, almost scared by the angry look Mana was throwing Kami.

            “Oh, just the truth.” Kami said, smiling at Gackt who had chosen the perfect moment to arrive. “Hey Gackt guess what you got up to last night?”

            “We...” Gackt began assuming Kami wanted him to break the news.

            “You had wild passionate sex with Mana.” Kami interrupted, watching as Gackt came to the same conclusion he had. His eyes moved to Mana who was still glaring angrily at Kami.

            “Really?” Gackt asked playing along. “There must be something wrong with my memory then, because I distinctly remember being with you.”

            “Wait you and Mana aren't together?” Yu~ki asked stunned.

            “No, we're not.” Gackt said, wrapping his arm around Kami's waist and pulling the drummer close to him. “But I did have sex last night from someone in this band.”

            “You and Kami!” Közi exclaimed, grinning madly. “And I thought I was happy before! This is too perfect!”

            “Yeah it is.” Kami said grinning, his eyes on Yu~ki who had yet to place his verdict on the situation.

            “I'm so glad over half this band is gay,” Yu~ki commented, after a long moment of silence. “It means there's more female fans for me.”


	12. Protect Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> No matter what happened, Gackt will always protect Kami.

            Kami lay on the luxurious double bed, feeling tired but happy. Beside him lay his lover, Gackt, idly playing with some of Kami's hair. Morning was approaching and it would soon be time to retreat for the day. Vampires such as themselves would die should they become exposed to the sunlight. Disappearing into dust taking their clothes with them. Metal, such as rings, could survive but not much else.

            If Kami had to choose just one thing he hated about being a vampire, it was this. The long summer days made it even more unbearable. Trapped in a coffin, or dark place, was not his idea of fun. It was worse when he knew there were vampire hunters searching for the two of them. What if they found their hiding place?

            “Baby, we need to hide now.” Gackt said, sounding apologetic as he sat up. He looked about as pleased as Kami felt over the concept but what could they do? Everything had a price.

            “One last kiss?” Kami asked, getting his wish answered instantly. The kiss was soft and tender and melted away a little of his fear of being found.

            “Come on,” Gackt said, breaking apart. “We really can't delay any longer. Already I can feel the sun making an appearance.” Kami felt it too, like a fire beginning to form within his chest, not hot yet but getting warmer as time passed.

            With those words Gackt pried a wooden board off the side of the bed, revealing their hiding place, their coffins left abandoned in the basement. Proof the threat of discovery should be taken seriously. Kami quickly slipped inside the bed, relieved at least that Gackt had made it habitable with a double mattress only an inch thick, designed for camping, and luxurious feather pillows. Sheets of silk completed the space and at least it felt like a bed, to a vampire used to a coffin anyway.

            As Gackt took his side of the bed, he reattached the side panel and all was dark and completely quiet. Reaching over Kami managed to find Gackt's hand and fell into an instant sleep as the sun climbed into the sky.

 

            Vampires rarely woke during the day, not unless they were disturbed and so when Kami awoke and felt the warmth in his chest that meant the sun was at his highest he knew something must have woken him. His hand was still entwined with Gackt's and the tightening of Gackt's fingers over his made him aware Gackt has woken too.

            “Gackt?” Kami whispered.

            “Quiet.” Gackt whispered back and hearing the fear in Gackt's voice he obeyed. Lying scared and trapped in the dark he could smell the scent of humans within their house. They were being quiet but now he had located their presence he could hear the tell-tale sounds of their breathing and footsteps downstairs. They were heading for the basement and Kami was pleased Gackt had thought to create this new hiding place. Pleased but scared, because finding two empty coffins wouldn't stop them searching the rest of the house.

            They were pulling the lids of the coffins now and Kami began to tremble, what if they decided to burn the place down? They'd be dead if that happened.

            “Empty!” a man's voice exclaimed in shock, a second after a loud crash that could only be a coffin lid falling on the ground. The splintering of wood followed as the second coffin was ripped open and Kami wanted to cry. He might hate sleeping through the day but he loved his coffin. Made from mahogany and silver with silk sheets it had always been his, from the day he died. Gackt's coffin had been basic black wood with cotton sheets and though Gackt had replaced the sheets and lining he had left the wood alone. Vampires were prone to forming an attachment to their original coffins, the last thing that they had owned as a human.

            “Bastards!” Gackt muttered under his breath, sounding furious as the sounds of wood being destroyed, probably with an axe, reached their ears. The humans would pay tonight, assuming the two of them survived to sunset. Normally Kami tried to control Gackt's anger but not now. Not when he could barely control his own. His parents had bought him that coffin! It had been all he had when he first moved in with Gackt.

            “Search the house.” Came a man's voice, different to the one who had spoken before.

            “Charlie, I think they must have left town.” Another man answered, sounding nervous. So their leader was a foreigner? Or at least had a foreign name. That would make him easier to find.

            “Idiot!” The man named Charlie scolded. “If the vampires are here they might be awake and if there awake they can hear us.”

            “Doubt it. They probably heard us coming and escaped.” The different man stated. “See that trapdoor? It probably leads into the sewers. They'd be long gone.”

            “What trap door?” Kami whispered.

“The one I installed as an escape route to fool them,” Gackt whispered back. “It doesn't lead anywhere though. Just to their deaths.”

            “What's down there?” Kami demanded.

            “Nothing,” Gackt responded. “Though if they walk far enough down the tunnel I dug the whole place is set to cave in, trapping them down there.

            “Dammit!” Charlie's voice echoed, he must have seen the 'escape route' for himself now.

            “What do we do?” Yet another man asked. How many men were there? At least four... no five. There were defiantly five different scents down there.

            “Follow the tunnel,” Charlie decided. “If they've run they can't have gone far.

            “And if we find them?” The man who'd previous been called an idiot asked.

            “We shoot them through the head with silver bullets.” Charlie announced, one of the lesser known ways to fight a vampire. Silver was harmless to a vampire usually but if it got into their brain then it would instantly paralyse their entire body. The vampire would be fully aware of what was going on around him or her and in constant agony whilst it happened.

            “Silver bullets,” Kami whispered in shock. “They deserve whatever you have planned for them.” He added, knowing Gackt himself could be pretty cruel to his enemies.

            “They'll get what they deserve. I promised to protect you,” Gackt reminded his lover, as they heard the sounds of five men descend into the tunnel three floors below. Five minutes later the unmistakable sounds of a cave in could be heard, along with the cries of fear from several men.

            “You did,” Kami agreed, finally feeling the fear inside him fading into gratitude. “Just promise me one thing. Don't get hurt when you finish them off tonight.”

            “I won't get hurt,” Gackt promised. “I know you can't live without me.”

            “Or you without me.” Kami replied, rolling on his side and wrapping an arm around Gackt. Sleep was impossible now, as the sounds of the trapped men could clearly be heard by both vampires, but that was all right. As long as they had each other to talk to, the long hours to sunset would quickly pass.

 


	13. Change My Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami looks back on the day he first met Gackt

                The day Kami met Gackt changed his life, in ways he could never have guessed. Naturally, a brand new vocalist would do that, changing the band’s direction and adding a new unknown person into the mix. He was prepared for that. Excited even. Though shy, Kami loved meeting new people and could get on with almost anybody. Maybe, just maybe, this vocalist would bring them the fame they craved. Deserved even, if Mana was to be believed.                 
                Mana was confident about his choice in vocalist, Kami could tell that by the way the guitarist sat there looking pleased with himself. Well that was a relief. Mana had never liked Tetsu and made it clear from the start. The other members had been wary in different degrees. Kami himself had nothing against their first vocalist, only it was without doubt that the vocalist didn't have the talent to make them big. Still an ok selling album was more than a lot of bands had. No Tetsu hadn't been too bad.  
                But Gackt, Gackt had been everything Tetsu was and everything he wasn't. Gackt was the face of the band, like no other. Talented with just the right amount of ego. He spoke of world domination right from the start and clearly believed they could do it. Gackt's belief was so strong that it had them all excited about the possibility. Even Közi, who was always careful about this type of thing, never wanting to get his hopes set too high just in case they were crushed.  
                Gackt was perfect for the band but Kami knew that there was more to his perfection than that. Gackt was perfect for him. Everything he had ever searched for in women brought to him in male form. Fate had a sense of humour but Kami was undisturbed. He had always been brought up to believe that love was love and that was what he felt. Would he go gay for Gackt? Could he go gay? Of course he could! What did gender matter in the grand scheme of things?   
                Yes, the day Gackt entered Kami's life it changed forever and nobody could be any happier about this turn of events than Kami himself. Nobody, except maybe Gackt.


	14. The Secret of Blood

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kami cuts his knee, he knows he has to clean it up before Gackt gets home.

            Kami sat down, first aid kit in hand, unable to draw his eyes away from the blood trailing down his leg. He should clean it up he knew, his boyfriend would be home any minute, but there really was something fascinating in watching his own blood. The essence of his life, dripping from the scrape on his knee from when he had tripped up outside. The wound didn't hurt too bad, the blow to his pride had been worse.     

            He'd already stripped off his ruined jeans and sat in just a t-shirt and his boxers, so he grabbed an antiseptic wipe and began to clean away the blood. Pausing as he realised somebody was watching him. When he looked up it was to see his boyfriend staring at him, with that faraway look that told Kami that it was already too late to hide what he was doing.  
            "I didn't know you were home." Kami commented, watching nervously as the vampire’s fangs began to grow. As much as he loved Gackt, his vampire nature could still scare him at times.  Especially at times like this one, when the blood lust had obviously started to take control.  
            "I've been back awhile." Gackt responded with a slight accent, not foreign, more antiquated. An accent that lingered in the past, from when Gackt himself had been young.

            "I'm OK," Kami decided, more for his own benefit than Gackt's. "I'll let you clean up my wound if you like." Gackt nodded and needing no more invitation knelt at Kami's feet, gently licking the blood that had trailed down his leg, slowly moving up to the source. It felt good, he wouldn't deny that. The vampire’s breath warm against his skin, every touch sexualised for his benefit. It was just unfortunate that a wound doesn't bleed for ever. He really didn't want this to end.

            As the blood stopped flowing, Kami expected Gackt to pull back. Only he didn't. It soon came apparent that the vampire was hungry for something more than blood. Slowly his tongue moved higher up Kami's leg. Intelligent, seductive, eyes stared up at him watching his every move. A hand slipping inside his boxers, making Kami gasp in surprise. With a smile he rested back in the chair, his body to be used as his lover pleased.   
            Yes, there were many drawbacks to having a vampire for a lover but this wasn't one of them. Lost in a sea off passion Kami began to lose his sanity to the pleasure. As he moaned in bliss one thought came into Kami's head. 'Having a vampire for a lover wasn't a bad thing at all.'


	15. Prettiest Princess

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Just a comical version of Snow White.

****Once upon a time, there was a pretty princess who was the prettiest princess in all the land. Her name was Mana and she had but one secret, she was a man. But that was fine because men can be pretty, just not princesses. Really he was the prettiest prince who ever was, just don't tell him that. One day, Mana met a prince named Gackt, and he was the prettiest prince in all the land, just a different land so it was decreed that there must be a beauty pageant to deem who was the prettiest princess, or prince as it was. So the two princes dressed up in their finest dresses, made from silk and jewels and performed their talents, answered tricky questions before it was decreed that Gackt was the prettiest. This made Mana mad, for he should be the princess, so he hatched an evil plan to make it so.

The plan in itself was simple, if Gackt was dead then Gackt would rot and then Gackt wouldn't be the Prettiest Princess of Prettyton, which was what Mana had decided to rename the land when he became the Queen/King. (Gender roles weren't his strong point). Anyway, killing people required strength, cunning and most of all getting your hands dirty and Mana didn't have enough of the first, Gackt was a very strong man, very little of the second and despised the third, so he hired a man named Közi to do the killing for him.

Now Közi wasn't strong but he was smart and so he watched Gackt until he figured out every morning Gackt went into a clearing in the forest to practise his martial arts. So one morning he followed Gackt and used all his cunning to remedy the situation by telling Gackt the truth, for he wasn't as strong as Gackt either and didn't really feel like getting his hands dirty. Gackt of course didn't want to run and hide so Közi had to convince him by telling him the location of a gem mine that he owned. Happy, as Gackt liked gemstones and money, he accepted this trade and went to live in a cottage in the wood with seven dwarfs, one of them, the smartest and best looking, was called Peter Dinklage and stared in a TV series called Game of Thrones as Tyrion Lanister and everyone adored him.

Time passed but one day Mana found out that Gackt was still alive by using magic. By magic of course we mean he used a spy, a young man named Yu~ki who was very very old but still insisted that he was young. Anyway, Yu~ki gave Mana the information about the mine because he didn't like anyone who didn't like chocolate and eating chocolate gave Gackt a nose bleed. Furious Mana went and bought some poison but, being too lazy to read, he didn't look at the bottle he was purchasing which actually contained sedatives. This time he hired Yu~ki who dressed up as an old woman so Gackt wouldn't recognise him, even though they had never met, and went to feed Gackt sedative filled biscuits. (The kind without chocolate of course).

Gackt naturally fell asleep, just as another pretty prince happened to come by. The strange prince looked at Gackt and became curious, by which I mean he suddenly decided "Hey! I might be bi-sexual. Perhaps if I kiss this sleeping man I will know?" and so Kami, for this was the name of the prince, went and kissed Gackt on the lips, who of course woke up. But only after the sedatives wore off. Deciding he was bi-sexual, Kami asked Gackt if they could be lovers, and naturally Gackt said yes because nobody says no to Kami. And so everyone lived happily ever after because killing Mana would mean getting your hands dirty and not one of the characters in the story likes to do that. (Except Yu~ki but he kind of just blends in with the scenery at this point). The End.

 


	16. Butterfly

“The butterfly's only purpose is to find it's mate before it dies.” Gackt read with a sad smile before he shut the book. The words rang too true. His butterfly had died long before it's time but he had found his mate. They'd been happy together even though their time was short.  
He still remembered the way Kami had defused his anger with just the lightest of kisses, that began on his cheek but always ended up finding their way to his neck. He remembered the way that Kami could always tell when he was sad and would just wrap him in a hug that seemed able to cure just about anything. The way Kami had smiled when he did and how it had lit up the whole room.  
He wished he could once again brush Kami's gorgeous long hair and buy him surprise gifts just to see him grin. He missed being Kami's knight, protecting him from all harm. Most of all he missed Kami's voice.  
Unstoppable tears began to fall down Gackt's face as he remembered his lover. Every day without him was filled with the pain of loss but as time had passed it became bearable. A part of him that would always be there but could be ignored enough to function.  
“Gackt?” You asked, stepping into the room to find the vocalist in tears. “What's wrong?”  
“I miss him.” Gackt admitted, knowing You would understand.  
“I know.” You replied, wrapping his arms around Gackt just like Kami would have done. No words were spoken but Gackt didn't want to speak. He just wanted to feel loved. As time passed it occurred to Gackt that though Kami was gone, he wasn't alone. You was there to hold him when he cried, smile when he smiled and when he was lonely as night it was always You who climbed into his bed to keep him company. He would never forget Kami, but he had moved on, just as Kami would have wanted.


	17. One Simple Gesture

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami has had a terrible day but just a little kindness had him smiling again.

            Kami was sulking. He was having a horrible day and he had simply given up trying to please anyone. He would sit here and do nothing until this meeting was over and he could go home and have a nice long bath before bed. Perhaps tomorrow would be better. It couldn't be nearly as bad as today.

            First his car had broken down in the snow making him late for work. By the time he had got there on foot he was soaking wet and freezing cold but instead of sympathy he had gotten a lecture from Mana about punctuality. Then Mana had only gone and informed him the walk would do him good, a pointed comment as he'd put on a few pounds recently. It was actually his doctor who had ordered him to gain weight but Mana didn't seem to care. Mana wanted everyone to be as thin as Gackt but it wasn't his fault he didn't have the right bone structure to be like that. Besides, didn't Gackt himself collapse frequently thanks to his life style?

            On break Yu~ki too had joined in on the weight games and told Kami as he needed to lose weight he'd just have to eat the chocolate bar he'd brought with him. Much to Kami's horror the chocolate had ended up being confiscated by Mana, though at least Yu~ki too had to suffer on this one.

            The day picked up slightly after that but then after lunch the music he'd composed for their new album had been rejected. 'It just doesn't suit Malice's image' Közi had apologised but Kami knew what he meant was 'it just isn't good enough'. He'd spent weeks on those compositions and it hurt him to hear these words. Yet nobody seemed to notice or care.

            Then he had ended up snapping at Gackt. That was the worst, as he knew the vocalist didn't deserve it. Gackt had been nothing but nice to him but he was jealous. Nobody ever criticised Gackt for his work, or his weight. Sure he got a lot of grief for going off and doing his own thing all the time but it didn't seem to phrase him in the slightest. Gackt was just himself and didn't care what others said to him.

            He knew he should apologise but he couldn't. He was just too miserable to have to accept the blame for the argument and so the meeting had carried on with him sulking and Gackt trying his best to act like nothing had happened.

            Finally the day ended and he was free to go. First to leave the room he grabbed his things and got out of the office building as if his life deepened on it. Typical it was snowing heavily and there were no taxi's in sight. Whatever, he'd walk home.

            He was doing just that when a red car pulled up beside him. He recognised it instantly as Gackt's and would have kept on walking except he was already far too cold and wet for that. Instead he stopped and hoped Gackt would offer him a lift. He couldn't be so mad he'd want to see him suffer right?

            “Come on Kami, this is ridiculous,” Gackt scolded. “You know I would give you a lift if you   just asked.”

            “Perhaps the cold suits my mood.” Kami responded but he was already pulling open the car door and getting into the warmth.

            “Perhaps. But you don't want to be getting sick,” Gackt replied. “Then Mana will have a go at you again, only for being off work.”

            “Why does he do that?” Kami complained but Gackt couldn't answer. “Are you mad at me?” He asked after a long uncomfortable silence.

            “No,” Gackt replied. “I know you didn't mean any of what you said. You've just been having a bad day.”

            “I'm sorry.” Kami apologised anyway, knowing that now things between them were just as they had always been.

 

            Still he was happy to be home and though he wanted to be alone he didn't have the heart to kick Gackt out. Even the suggestion of having a long hot bath didn't get Gackt to leave. Instead he went and set everything up for him and left him to it, promising to arrange dinner for the two of them. Not having the heart to argue Kami sank into the hot water and shut his eyes. Perhaps this was better than being left alone. Having somebody willing to cook his dinner so he didn't have to was definitely the best thing that had happened to him all day.

            Maybe five minutes later the bathroom door was being pushed open and Gackt entered carrying two mugs of hot chocolate. He handed one over to Kami who accepted it happily, pleased to see it also had a thick layer of cream and flaked chocolate on the top.

            “Won't Mana be mad that you're fattening me up?” Kami teased.

            “I think you look better with a bit more weight,” Gackt replied. “You shouldn't be able to count somebody ribs just by looking at them.”

            “Tell that to Mana.” Kami replied, taking a sip of the hot drink and smiling. It had clearly been made from ingredients from his own kitchen but somehow it was so much nicer than any hot chocolate he'd ever been able to make. Perhaps it was simply the gesture of the drink that made it taste so much sweeter?

            “I will. And as for your music, well I'm afraid Közi is right, it doesn't fit the band image. But it fits your image perfectly. I suppose that's why I personally loved it.”

            “You don't think it's rubbish?” Kami asked.

            “No. I doubt anybody thought it was bad,” Gackt replied. “As for your car, well the best I can do is call a mechanic for you.”

            “It's OK. You've done enough.” Kami replied with a smile. The kind words had helped a lot but what had really brightened his day was the simple gesture of been given a mug of hot chocolate on a cold day. Just one small sign that Gackt truly did care that he'd had a bad day.


	18. Don't You Love Me?

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami is worried because Gackt doesn't seem to want to touch him any more.

            Kami sighed and put down the magazine he had been reading. It was no use. He’d just read the same paragraph about five times because he was too worried to take anything in. Why did Gackt not want him anymore? Nothing seemed to have changed in their relationship, only Gackt no longer seemed to wanted to touch him. It’d only been two weeks but it felt like a lot longer. This was Gackt. Two days was the longest he’d ever made Kami wait before. Was he no longer attractive to Gackt? He’d look in the mirror if Mana wasn’t already in front of it. Mana was so conceited and vain sometimes. He couldn’t see that beauty was only skin deep but Gackt could. Looks wouldn’t be enough to put him off.

            Maybe he was bad in bed? Could that be it? Had Gackt been lying to him over the last few months since they got together? Surely not. Gackt wasn’t the type. Besides Kami was convinced that if he was bad Gackt would be trying to improve him, not just give up. Which left just one option. He was seeing somebody else. It sounded unbelievable but what other reason could there possibly be? Kami hadn’t changed. There was no reason Gackt would have got bored, unless he was seeing somebody else. Gackt cheat? It sounded bad just thinking about it. Gackt hated cheaters but the evidence was there.

            “You cheat!” Közi accused Gackt, his words a little too close to home for Kami’s liking. He was playing cards with Gackt on the other side of the room and Gackt seemed to have beaten him again.

            “Gackt doesn’t cheat, you’re just bad at the game.” Yu~ki informed Közi, not looking up from his manga.

            “Exactly,” Gackt agreed. “I don’t need to cheat to beat you.”

            “You’re like some super player or something.” Közi sulked, as he began to shuffle the cards.

            Kami watched Gackt for a moment before making up his mind. Gackt wasn’t a cheater. He needed to trust him for their relationship to work. Maybe he was worrying for nothing?

            “I’m going for a walk. Anybody want to come too?” Kami asked. It was a gamble but he was sure only Gackt would volunteer. Yu~ki was busy and the others weren’t the outdoors type.

            “I’ll go.” Gackt volunteered, just as he was supposed to.

            “See ya.” Közi said with a wave and smiling as the others followed the script Kami left with Gackt close behind him. At least one thing was going right today.

 

            They had walked in silence for a while before they reached open countryside and felt it was safe to talk without being overheard.

            “So, what’s bothering you?” Gackt started, breaking the subject Kami so longed and feared to start himself. At least he’d noticed something was wrong.  

            “Gackt, I can ask you anything right?” Kami asked.

            “Of course. Except my real age. That’s a government secret.” Gackt replied with a wink. Kami already knew his age but he was more than happy to play along with the fake one.

            “Death to anybody who finds out?” Kami joked.

            “Naturally,” Gackt replied walking slowly as he waited for Kami to ask his question.

            “Do you still love me?” Kami asked a few minutes later.

            “Stupid. Don’t you know?” Gackt replied.

            “Am I still attractive too you?” Kami asked, changing the question slightly, and this time Gackt stopped with a knowing smile.

            “Were you ever?” Gackt teased.

            “What’s wrong?” Kami demanded, knowing Gackt must know what he was on about.

            “With what?” Gackt asked, obviously in a playful mood. He was acting like he was enjoying this. Like it was a game. Kami couldn’t figure out if this was a good or bad thing. It was better than looking guilty at least.

“Don’t make me say it!” Kami complained. Getting no answer, he sighed. “Why don’t you want sex anymore?” He asked, unable to make eye contact.

            “Because I’ve been waiting for you to ask.” Gackt responded.

            “But you know I’m shy!” Kami accused, as relief flooded threw him. It was just like Gackt to do something like this. To test his love and commitment.

            “You had me seriously worried,” Gackt accused. “I thought you really didn’t want me.”

            “I worried you?!” Kami complained. “Do you have any idea what you put me through?”

            “Sorry,” Gackt apologized. “I didn’t realize you were that insecure. I thought you knew you were being tested.

            “Why test me?” Kami sulked, wordlessly forgiving Gackt. It wasn’t like he’d known Kami would act this way.

            “Because I know I pressurize you into sex sometimes. When you’re tired, or not in the mood. I don’t give in until you say yes. I realized this and decided to let you call the shots for once, I’d leave you alone until you asked for it. It never occurred to me that you’d just assume I’d gone off you!”

            “I suppose this is why they say communication is the most important part of a relationship.” Kami said relieved.

            “Properly,” Gackt agreed. “So, are you going to ask for sex anytime soon?”

            “Maybe,” Kami teased with a grin. “Or maybe I’ll make you wait.”

            “Don’t you dare!” Gackt warned, tackling Kami to the ground and kissing him possessively. “I don’t want to wait anymore!”

            “Sex fiend!” Kami teased as Gackt kissed him again. “Tonight.” He promised as the kiss ended.

            “Not now?” Gackt teased.

            “Not now.” Kami confirmed.

            “Fine. Have it your way,” Gackt replied grinning. “But you still need to ask for it.” He added with a wink as he kissed Kami again. Reconfirming his love once more but not for the last time.

 

 


	19. Snow

            He was waiting at the street corner, just like he'd promised. The snow falling down in heavy clouds of white blocking his vision and covering the world in a cold fluffy white blanket. Kami wasn't cold, despite only been dressed in a purple silk shirt and a pair of black cotton trousers. It had been a long time since he had felt the cold.

            A black shadow moved towards him, standing out against the snow and Kami smiled eagerly as the shadow took on the form of a man, dressed in black leather trousers and a long black coat that gave the impression of aristocracy.

            “I've missed you,” The aristocratic man, Gackt, commented casually and Kami smiled.

            “Not half as much as I've missed you.” Kami replied, wrapping his arms around his lover and hugging him gently for a while. Neither saying nothing to break this perfect moment.

            “Where would you like to go?” Gackt asked.

            “Home. With you. To my nice large bed.” Kami replied and the other smiled happily, liking this idea very much. Together, hand in hand, they walked down the street leaving no evidence that they'd been there. Not even a foot print, for they were both creatures of myth and legend and such creatures never left any signs of their existence behind.


	20. Why Kami Likes to Clean

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Even though they were both well aware of the answer, Gackt couldn't resist the temptation to ask.

                 As Gackt wandered into the dining room, he found Kami bent over their large dining table polishing the far side. Unable to help himself, and having no reason too, he smiled like an old pervert as he watched Kami clean in such a suggestive position. Already a thousand delicious thoughts of what he could do to that body flooded through his mind, many of which things he had already done on past occasions.  
                "Kami, why are you cleaning when my sister does it for us?" Gackt asked, when Kami had stood up properly once more.  
                "Because I enjoy it and besides, she probably won't want to even think about the stains on this table from last night." Kami answered, feeling like he had already answered this question a million times.  
                "I don't think that's the reason at all," Gackt scolded. "You know perfectly well what the view of you bent over does to me."  
                "I have no idea what you're talking about" Kami denied.  
                "Maybe you should bend over the table and I'll give you a demonstration of the thoughts you give me?" Gackt suggested and obediently Kami did as asked, knowing he would soon have to clean again, but that was fine with him because he loved cleaning things, especially when it so often led to sex.


	21. Strawberries

            Lying beside Gackt on his large bed, Kami waited for the other to come up with the dessert he had requested the night before, strawberries and chocolate, which he had insisted Gackt had to feed to him. It was one of those things couples were meant to do but he never had. Gackt had teased  him at first for being so clichéd but Kami had been insistent he wanted to do this and Gackt had given in to his lovers demands. Gackt always gave into Kami's demands, he was simply helpless to resist the drummer when he gave him his sad smile and the false reassurance that it didn't matter to him when it clearly did. This was how he had found himself tied to the bed on several occasions, buying Kami yet another bottle of perfume he didn't need and would never wear and even watching the latest Disney film at the cinema opposed to that new one starring Bruce Lee that Gackt simply couldn't remember the name off.

            “I spoil you.” Gackt announced as he carefully got onto the bed beside Kami placing the tray on his lap and wrapping an arm across Kami's shoulders where it seemed to more or less live nowadays. Sometimes his arm would rest across Kami's leg or thigh instead but it was the drummers shoulders that he loved most.

            “You do not!” Kami exclaimed. “If anything I spoil you.”

            “How?” Gackt demanded but when Kami pouted hurt he relented. “You don't spoil me, you just love me in every possible way.”

            “Strawberry time.” Kami ordered with a grin and obediently Gackt dipped one in the bowl of melted chocolate before moving it up to the drummers lips. Happily Kami ate the offered fruit and feeling especially devilish tonight couldn't help but comment “better than sex.”

            “Then have another one.” Gackt replied once again dipping a strawberry for Kami and feeding it to him carefully as he didn't want chocolate all over his bed.

            “I still want sex.” Kami replied only to have a third strawberry offered to him.

            “Why would you want sex when strawberries make you so happy?” Gackt asked perfectly innocently whilst thinking the frown that appeared on Kami's face when he realised his teasing had turned back on him was simply adorable. It made him want to kiss Kami there and then, an urge he could find no real reason to resist and so gently he kissed Kami bemused by the drummers reluctance to let there lips part.

            “Why don't you have one?” Kami asked dipping a strawberry for Gackt and offering it to his lips.

            “I don't like sweet things.” Gackt reminded Kami gently who then ate the fruit himself before offering Gackt one chocolate free.

            “You know that statement either means you don't like me or you think I'm not sweet.” Kami commented in a tone of voice that made Gackt have to check he wasn't serious.

            “You're sweet, you just don't taste sweet.” Gackt responded.           

            “Don't I?” Kami asked dipping his finger in the chocolate and coating his lips with it as if it was lip gloss. Gackt knew what was coming and made no effort to resist the kiss Kami then placed on his lips. He might not like sweet things but he didn't hate them either and to not kiss Kami would be cruel on the drummer and even crueller to himself and his own emotions who wanted nothing more than the drummers love.

            “You know if you want someone to eat chocolate from you I won't mind if you call Yu~ki.” Gackt teased.

            “That's OK, you seem quite content to lick my skin without any nutritional encouragements.” Kami replied and Gackt smiled as it was true. He was simply helpless to resist the man lying beside him on his bed. On the bright side the feeling was a mutual one.


	22. Beginnings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami always had found the school's karate captain to be gorgeous but intimidating, but what does Gackt think about him?

            Practise was over and tired but happy Kami followed his friends back towards the school buildings, his lucky tennis racket in hand. He always played well with this particular racket and had declared to his friends a long time ago that it had been blessed by fairies. It was comments like this that made him obviously gay but his true friends had long since got over Kami's sexuality and were now there for him, just like they'd been before.   

            “Looks like the karate club are practising outside again.” Commented one of Kami's friends.

            “Must be the nice weather.” Kami replied, as he looked over and met the gaze of the team’s captain, Gackt. Blushing he looked away and hurried to the changing rooms as his heart began to race. Gackt was stunningly handsome but more than a little intimidating. He was the strongest kid in the school to begin with, he'd won the title of karate club captain by beating his team mates and had even defeated the captains of the other martial arts clubs. The strength alone wasn't intimidating, there was just something about Gackt that made him seem dangerous and cold. What that was nobody could say, as the man was always polite and kind to those around him and was popular enough. Perhaps it was only in Kami's imagination?

            As usual Kami showered alone but the seclusion had long since stopped bothered him. It was a fair request from those worried he'd act like some sort of hormone fuelled sexual pervert and to be honest he liked the space and quiet showering alone granted him. Today that quiet was about to be interrupted, as the karate team entered the changing rooms filling the room with more loud and excited voices. It seemed the team were due to start some sort of competition next week and were excited by the prospect of winning this year.

            In the other shower unit voices broke up in arguments, as the karate team tried to share with the tennis club members and Kami gave a relieved smile that he had a whole unit to himself.

            “Wait, why are we all trying to squeeze into these five showers while the other five over there are pretty much empty?” Gackt spoke up.

            “Because Kami's a homo.” Spoke up a member of the tennis club.

            “So?” Gackt asked and footsteps approached Kami's shower unit as surprised voices filled the room. It seemed Gackt was joining him and sure enough the karate club captain stepped into the showers and turned on the shower next to Kami's.

            “I don't mind if he does look, I don't work out this body for nothing.” Gackt spoke up loudly, winking at Kami who turned away embarrassed and quickly finished his own shower, relieved to just get out of there. Had it just been his imagination or had Gackt actually wanted him to admire him?

            Getting dressed quickly Kami began work on brushing his hair, as around him his classmates one by one finished getting ready to leave and go home. There was only a handful of boys left when Kami finished, all karate club as he'd already gave his friends permission to leave without him. Looking up his eyes met Gackt's unrelenting gaze and again Kami looked away embarrassed, as he turned his attention to checking his phone for messages. Finding none he left the changing rooms alone and headed out off the school grounds as he remembered that briefest of glances at Gackt's naked form.

            'He's built like a statue,' Kami thought as he walked, 'a statue of a Roman god, built by Michelangelo himself.' Behind him he heard running footsteps and he turned in surprise as he realised that the man trying to catch up with him was the very man he'd been thinking about.

            “Gackt?” Kami asked surprised.

            “Yeah, I wanted to talk to you,” Gackt replied. “You confuse me.”

            “How so?” Kami asked.

            “Usually when I look at someone, I can tell what they think,” Gackt replied. “If they like me, hate me, find me arrogant or annoying but you... It's impossible to tell.”

            “Call me an enigma.” Kami replied with a smile. Before now he'd always been told he was easy to read and couldn't hide anything from anyone. It was nice for somebody to think differently.

            “Do you even like me?” Gackt asked.

            “I barely know you.” Kami replied.

            “What do you think when you look at me?” Gackt asked. “Do you find me hot?”

            “Kind off.” Kami replied, blushing bright red and silently praying that Gackt wouldn't take offence.

            “So why won't you even look at me now?” Gackt asked.

            “You scare me,” Kami admitted. “I find you gorgeous but intimidating.”

            “Ahh because I beat up that guy?” Gackt asked.

            “No. What guy?” Kami responded, totally shocked at Gackt's casually confession.

            “A guy who goes to the local university,” Gackt replied. “Guess that's not the reason.”

            “No but, why?” Kami asked. “Sorry, don't get mad at me.”

            “I don't get mad that easily,” Gackt replied laughing. “The guy had it coming.”

            “How so?” Kami asked.

            “He hurt my sister.” Gackt replied.

            “And you were protecting her.” Kami finished.

            “You could say she's my Achilles’ heel,” Gackt replied. “I can't stand people who hurt my family, especially her. My brother can take care of himself.”

            “Can I ask, why do you care what I think?” Kami asked. “It's kind of strange that you'd chase me down the street, just to ask a question that could wait until the morning.”

            “When it comes to matters of the heart, a man should never wait,” Gackt replied. “Your opinion of me counts for a lot.”

            “Really?” Kami asked, completely taken back by Gackt's revelation.          

            “What? Can't a tough guy be gay?” Gackt asked.

            “No just...” Kami stammered but he never managed to finish as he felt a pair of warm soft lips meeting his and he was kissing Gackt as if they'd spent their entire lifetime together. “Wow.” he managed to stammer as Gackt pulled away and the other only smiled as he wrapped his arm across Kami's shoulder protectively.

            “You’re mine now. Remember that.” Gackt ordered and with that he turned to walk the other way, leaving Kami alone on the pavement to smile happily after the martial artist. He still found Gackt intimidating, perhaps more so now than he ever had, but he was no longer afraid. Gackt had marked him as his man and Kami suspected that from now on nobody was ever going to hurt him. He was protected by a man who cared about him and that had simply made his day.

 

 


	23. A Kiss Without Words

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sometimes words are simply unnecessary.

            Gackt glanced down at the strands of long red hair that fallen over his arm bemused, his band mate was completely distracted by the film playing, just like the majority of the people in the cinema. With wondering curiosity, Gackt picked up the hair and felt it's soft smooth texture without the drummer even noticing. Moving it up to his nose he breathed in the scent of shampoo and smiled, before letting the hair fall and returned to watching the film he had seen three times already. Kami didn't notice his behaviour, he never did, too trusting to suspect the way the vocalist truly felt towards him.

            Gackt glanced at Kami once again and this time decided tonight would be the night the drummer would take notice of the song of his heart. Without warning, he tapped Kami on the shoulder and when he turned to look, he pressed his lips against the drummer’s, kissing him demanding a response. His hand held onto the back of the drummer’s head, leaving him unable to pull away but for a moment Gackt thought he was going to fight back. Kami was stiff, resisting but then something within him melted and he accepted this passionate embrace.

            As he pulled away Gackt smiled nervously at Kami, who looked a little stunned before quietly turning to watch the film once more. Was he angry? Hurt? Betrayed? Gackt began to regret his actions but a minute later he felt Kami's hand in his and they sat frozen in time until the film ended and the lights turned on. Still they didn't speak, though Kami smiled nervously at Gackt, who smiled back happily. It was like there was no need to discuss what had happened because they both already knew what the kiss meant, where it would lead, where they wanted this night to end up. Somehow, with just a single kiss, they had become a couple and it just felt so right.


	24. Never Grow Up

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Being an adult is full of stress, responsibilities and hard work, is it any wonder Kami wanted to relive his childhood? If only for a day.

            “What do you want to do today?” Gackt asked Kami, realising that they had no plans for their day off.

            “Do?” Kami asked. “I want, don't laugh OK?”

            “I won't laugh. Did I laugh when you said you wanted to try fishing?” Gackt asked.

            “No,” Kami admitted. “OK, I want to go to the park and feed the ducks.”

            “Feed the ducks?” Gackt asked, with a raised eyebrow.

            “Yeah, I used to do it all the time as a child but then you kind of grow up. Wouldn't it be fun to go and feed them today? We could walk around the park and just relax.” Kami explained.

            “And then what? Ride the merry-go-round?” Gackt asked. “Play on the swings?”

            “I knew you'd mock me,” Kami sulked. “Forget it.”

            “No, I was being serious. I haven't been on a merry-go-round for years.” Gackt replied smiling. “Today we are going to the park and acting like kids.”

            “Because we're both so grown up and mature the rest of the time?” Kami asked.

            “Maturity is for kids,” Gackt replied, rolling his eyes. “The only people who want to be mature are those who know they’re immature. Or Yu~ki.”

            “Who just likes being an old man,” Kami replied, shaking his head. “Perhaps we should invite him to come to. He can play our Dad.”

            “And let him ruin our fun?” Gackt asked. “No, we're going, just the two off us, now go get ready, I want to leave now!”

            “Always in such a hurry!” Kami mock complained, as he placed a gentle kiss on Gackt's lips before doing as he was told. Gackt's lack of patience when it came to things like this was something Kami had learned to live with and at least he was fit enough to keep up with Gackt's hectic pace.

 

            It was a cloudy day and the park wasn't as busy as it could be, which was nice as it gave them both some peace as they walked along the path towards the large lake where the ducks lived. Conversation came easy at first, before drifting into comfortable silence and Kami simply looked around at the beauty that was nature, appreciating it far more than anything man could build.

            Reaching the ducks, Gackt pulled out the bread he had been carrying and as competitive as ever, feeding the birds became a contest to see who could throw farthest, who could feed the most ducks and who could land a piece of bread on a duck’s back first. Gackt won the first two because Kami was busy focusing on accuracy and so he won the third challenge, feeling quite smug.

            “Race you to the top of that hill.” Gackt announced and both men took off like the idiotic kids they both longed to be. Reaching the top, they stopped to catch their breath before wandering into the forest hand in hand, feeling content in the knowledge that they had nothing to prove to each other. That they could simply be themselves, as stupid and idiotic as that might be.

            The walk in the forest was a long one and halfway through it they stopped for lunch, which Gackt had prepared himself. It was a simple but satisfying meal and finishing it both men were reluctant to leave the peace they had found.

 

            In the end it was the call of the kid’s playground that convinced them to get up and move, returning to the park they played on the roundabout until a park keeper kicked them out of the playground. Frustrated they'd never got to play on the swings, Gackt's mood turned for the worst and reluctantly Kami agreed they should leave.

            “It's not fair!” Gackt ranted. “Why can't we play?”

            “Because we're both grown men,” Kami replied. “No matter how much we try to be kids, we're not. That childhood innocence is lost but you know, there are advantages to being an adult.”

            “Really?” Gackt muttered. “Like what, getting to be the man who kicks others of the swings?”

            “Well there is that but I was thinking more along the lines of alcohol and sex,” Kami replied with a smile. “I know you love both of them. So why don't we finish this day of being kids, with an evening of being perverted adults?”

            “Now that doesn't sound like a bad idea,” Gackt replied with a smile. “But first I'm going to go play on some swings! This isn't the only park you know!”


	25. The Man With The Magnum

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami meets some strange men in a club’s toilets.

            As Kami pushed open the toilet door, silence descended the room and Kami turned bright red as he took in what he was seeing. Across the room two men were standing with their penis's exposed and held close together. They were both clearly drunk and Kami felt wrong for intruding on this moment.

            “It's not what it looks like.” the red-haired man quickly tried to explain, as Kami turned to go.     

            “No seriously, he wouldn't believe mine was a magnum,” His companion explained. “So I had to show him how much bigger I am and then you walked in.”

            “I think you guys might be a little drunk.” Kami commented, debating if he should go or not. He really did need to relieve himself but perhaps it might be best to come back in a bit.

            “Yep we're drunk,” The red-haired man announced. “Right Gackt?”

            “Közi is drunk, I have a magnum,” The man named Gackt explained. “Do you?”

            “What kind of man would answer no?” Kami asked back.

            “Test it!” Közi declared.

            “No, that's not really necessary!” Kami complained but before he knew what was happening his jeans and boxers were around his ankles and the other men were inspecting his private parts.

            “See, I'm bigger.” Gackt announced.

            “No he is!” Közi argued.

            “Guys it doesn't matter!” Kami said bright red as he tried to pull his jeans up, only to have his hands pushed aside and the black-haired man's cock pressed beside his own.

            “See, bigger.” Gackt proudly boasted.

            “Yes bigger,” Kami replied. “Now what do you want me to do? Suck it as a reward?”

            “That might be nice.” Gackt commented.

            “I was joking.” Kami informed him, managing to escape and lock himself into a toilet stall. What the hell was with these men? Was he even safe to come out, or would he end up getting raped? Well he might as well relieve himself now he was here and doing just that Kami exited the cubicle to find the men were still there but they were ignoring him for now. He quickly washed his hands and tried to leave, only to get cut off by Közi.

            “Gackt and I agree your hot,” Közi informed him. “If you could date one of us, who would it be?”

            “Neither.” Kami replied.

            “It's because you scared him!” Gackt accused.

            “Me? You were the one who pressed your cock against his!” Közi argued and taking his chance Kami escaped and returned to the safety of his friends, where he remained for the rest of the night.

            Just as he left the club he was corned by Gackt again, though he wasn't scared now as the room was full of people. Even a crazy drunk like Gackt wouldn't try anything here.

            “I'm sorry,” Gackt apologised. “I was drunk, I am drunk. I'm Gackt.”

            “Yes, I know.” Kami replied.

            “I have a magnum,” Gackt informed him. “You said you'd suck it as a reward.”

            “I was being sarcastic.” Kami replied.

            “Call me.” Gackt ordered, handing Kami some paper with his number written on it before wandering off. Tossing the paper in a bin Kami left the club with his friends, vowing to never go there again. It was full of crazy men who assaulted others in the toilets. Though in his favour, the crazy man really did have a magnum, a nice ass and a pretty face.


	26. The Drive To Compete

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Kami sees Gackt play drums for the first time he can't help but be jealous.

            “Is something bothering you?” Gackt asked, as he entered the break room to find Kami staring wishfully at a magazine.

            “I was just thinking how ironic it all is. How Mana wanted to be a drummer and ended up on guitar, and for me it's the complete opposite,” Kami explained. “I miss playing guitar sometimes.”

            “Well you can still play,” Gackt encouraged. “I used to be a drummer, before I became a vocalist but I still play drums at home.”

            “Drums are my talent,” Kami replied. “My calling as it were, it'd be a crime for you not to sing and for me not to play drums.”

            “Have you ever heard me play?” Gackt demanded. Of course he would be offended by a compliment, only Gackt could twist logic so perfectly.

            “Well no.” Kami admitted.

            “Then I'll show you.” Gackt replied, holding out his hand for the drum sticks.

            “I never suggested you couldn't play.” Kami protested but he handed over his drum sticks and followed Gackt into the concert hall where everything was set up from practise. Really did Gackt always have to see life as a serious of tests and competitions? It could grow tiring but at least it was a distraction from wishing how his life could have been.

            “What's going on?” Yu~ki asked Kami, clearly relieved he wasn't the target of whatever was being planned.

            “Gackt's proving he can play drums, even though I never doubted it,” Kami explained. “All I said was it's be a crime for him not to sing.”

            “He's high maintenance,” Yu~ki agreed just as Gackt began to play. It was impressive to say the least and it made Kami feel rather small. Here he was able to play drums well and guitar at a semi reasonable level and Gackt was like a god on both. He could probably play guitar too, and bass, if he cloned himself he could probably be the whole band!

            “Not bad!” Közi encouraged, as he entered the room, and taking the compliment as encouragement Gackt began to show off. He finished as Mana entered, giving them all a look that made it clear it was time to get to work.

 

            That night Kami sat behind his drum kit, the second set he kept at home, and practised until he ached. What kind of band were they when the vocalist could play drums better than the drummer? It didn't make sense and he felt ashamed. Nobody else had seemed to notice. The jokes had suggested they all felt the opposite was true, but that didn't make him feel any better. He had to practise, he had to be the best. At least in the band because otherwise what was his point in being a member?

 

            It was a couple of weeks later that anyone said anything and to his surprise it was Mana who opened the topic.

            “Kami, your drumming is coming on leaps and bounds lately.” He commented, surprising everyone. Mana didn't give praise lightly.

            “Now you mention it,” Közi agreed. “What's the matter? Gackt giving you a run for your money?”

            “Like Kami is that insecure,” Gackt remarked but as he made eye contact with Kami it was clear he understood. “He just wanted to widen his lead.”

            “I just practised a lot lately.” Kami muttered, blushing bright red and acting like he was picking up his water bottle so that his hair covered his features.

            “Well it's paid off.” Mana said, before announcing the band could go for a break.

            “You understand what it's like to be me now,” Gackt said later, when only Kami could hear. “The constant fear you're inadequate, that drives you to practise to your body’s limits. That's how I feel about everything.”

            “But you're not inadequate at anything!” Kami protested. “Whenever I look at you, all I see is a man amazing at everything he tries.”

            “Because I practise,” Gackt confessed. “It's all hard work, nothing more. Anyone can achieve what I have.”

            “No, your drive to compete is what makes you able to succeed. I'm not so sure I have that drive.” Kami confessed.

            “Then why have you been practising so hard?” Gackt teased. “You're as competitive as I am! Only with enough confidence to know when to let go.”

            “In what parallel universe do I have more confidence than you?” Kami demanded laughing.

            “In the one where I kiss you.” Came the surprising reply, moments before his gentle lips met Kami's own.


	27. Snowdrops

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Winter has its flowers too and Kami was determined to prove it.

            Kami was a child of winter, which in the fairy community meant he had to work for the winter months and had the rest of the year to play. His lover was a child of the summer and so for half of the year they couldn't spend as much time together as they liked but spring was approaching now and Kami was excited at the concept of spending endless nights in Gackt's arms and endless days exploring the planet’s beauty.

            Gackt often told Kami his job was easy but the other fairy always scolded him. What did the other know? Winter wasn't about death but about rejuvenation, preparing the land ready for the flowers of spring. Humans may think plants grew all by themselves but they didn't. It took the magic of hundreds of fairies just to keep the earth alive and though it was a hard job, it was also a fun one.

            “You don't even have to raise flowers.” Gackt scoffed once, as Kami complained that he was tired from a hard day’s work. The other fairy was annoyed that Kami wouldn't have sex with him, so Kami took no offence at the other’s words but at the same time he knew the other was wrong.

            “We have flowers. Maybe not as many as spring or summer but we still have them,” Kami replied. “You just need to know where to look.”

            “They can't be as beautiful as my rose,” Gackt remarked. “My roses are the pride and joy of summer. Just last year I was rewarded high honours for my work.”

            “I'll show you my flowers,” Kami announced, too annoyed to sleep. “Come on.”

            “Now?” Gackt asked but Kami was already getting up and with a sigh Gackt followed him outside and across the forest, to the area that had been assigned to his lover.

            Before him lay a field of snowdrops, each one so beautiful and detailed that he knew he had been mistaken to mock the fairies of winter. Winter had its beauty, hidden away and special. It's simplicity making it even more beautiful than if the flowers were surrounded by colour and light.

            “I'm sorry.” Gackt apologised but Kami only smiled and flew around his flowers, checking they were still growing strong. Gackt watched him for a moment, proud of what his lover had created in the harsh conditions winter had to offer.

 

            The next day Gackt sought out the fairy king and told him of Kami's work and interested the pair returned to the snowdrops, where Kami was working hard to keep them growing beautiful and strong. For a moment the pair did nothing but watch, until the fairy king announced his presence.

            “It seems that your lover is right, you deserve honours too.” The king announced and stunned Kami looked between the two men and smiled happily as he realised that Gackt had not only accepted Kami's work was good, but that it was as good as his own award-winning work. And who was Kami to argue, now they both had high honours from the fairy king?


	28. Memories

"Mum!" Gackt called as he let himself into his parents’ house.

"You should have phoned." His Mum scolded him as she appeared from the living room.   
"I know but this is important. I need some stuff from when I was a kid," Gackt explained. "It's for this interview I’m meant to be doing this afternoon."  
"What sort of stuff?" His Mum asked, not begrudging her son’s uninvited presence.  
"Report cards, school projects, anything I might have made," Gackt explained. "You did keep all that when you moved house, right?"  
"I'd never throw away my son’s past," His mother said with a smile. "It's all in the attic. You're going to have to go through it yourself."  
“That's fine." Gackt said with a grin.

About an hour later, a rather dusty Gackt was routing through the last box. He'd already found what he needed but he was just being nosy. So many memories sat here waiting to be rediscovered. Gackt finally understood why his mother had hung onto it all.

Picking up an old school book. a picture he had drawn fell out and fluttered to the floor. It was labelled "My dream" and he stared at it startled as it was a picture of himself with several kids of his own. His lover, Kami, had been trying to persuade him to adopt kids for months but he'd kept demanding more time to think. He'd been a fool!

That night as he sat down with Kami for dinner, he turned to Kami and smiled.

"I've finally made up my mind about kids." Gackt said getting Kami's attention. "I know I kept saying I need more time to make a decision but the truth is I don't. I knew back in 85 what I wanted, I found a picture to prove it." Placing the picture in front of Kami the drummer looked at it and smiled.

"Idiot!" Kami scolded as he looked affectionately in Gackt's eyes.

"I may be an idiot but I’m your idiot." Gackt agreed taking Kami's hand in his. Kids always had a way of seeing the truth when an adult could not, he just hadn’t realised that the kid who could guide him would be himself.


	29. Sleep

            Gackt was fast asleep when Kami returned home and so, being as quiet as possible, the drummer stripped naked and slid into their bed beside him. There was a murmur from the vocalist but no more. Not really feeling tired but knowing he should sleep, Kami shut his eyes and lay like that for a few minutes. Sleep refused to even think about coming, as his mind kept replaying the image of Gackt stepping out of the shower after rehearsal. He remembered how much he had wanted to run his hands along that perfect chest but hadn't dared with the others in the room.

Touching Gackt tended to end up with them both sweaty and naked in each other arms. But Gackt was asleep now. Touching would just be touching. It wasn't like Gackt would mind. His mind set, he rolled over on his side and began to gently run his hands over the smooth skin, feeling the hard muscles underneath. Temptation getting the better of him, he ran his tongue over a nipple getting an answering moan of pleasure from his lover.

            Even in his sleep Gackt moaned for him, Kami thought amused feeling Gackt up a little longer before moving away, convinced Gackt was on the verge of waking up.

            “Do you always molester me when you think I'm asleep?” Gackt asked, though the only emotion in his voice was amusement.

            “No.” Kami replied, refusing to feel guilty or embarrassed. He'd done far worse to Gackt when he was awake and the other had been more than willing.

            “Good. I wouldn't want to miss your attention.” Gackt replied, sleepily wrapping his arms around Kami and going quiet once more. Relaxing into his arms, Kami once again tried to fall asleep, finding it easy this time. Maybe that had been his problem before? He hadn't had the security of his lover’s embrace.

 


	30. Kami's Birthday Surprise

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's Kami's birthday and Gackt does his best to give Kami the one thing he wants most.

            It was Kami's birthday and the rehearsal for the Merveilles tour was just ending. The drummer was looking forward to a nice quiet meal with his family, followed by a night out with his close friends and was currently mentally going through all the things he needed to do that night. Beside him his lover, who had been invited to the meal, was heading in his direction and gave him a hug and a kiss. He'd been very affectionate today, taking every chance he got to pamper Kami and the drummer felt pleased at the attention. It wasn't like Gackt usually ignored him, just that attention was usually when he wanted love and affection and never this frequent.

            “Get a room!” Mana scoffed as he grabbed his things and headed for the door in a huff.

            “I'll see you later.” Közi informed Kami, giving him a gently pat on the back before he ran after Mana, knowing he'd be in trouble if he waited too long.

            “One day we're all going to be old men.” Yu~ki announced as he began to hobble away on his staff, like the old man he was dressed like.

            “But never as old as you.” Kami teased and Yu~ki grinned before making his own way out and realising they were now one of the last to leave, Kami turned to face Gackt to ask him if he wanted to go home to get changed, or come straight around to his house.

            “I have a surprise for you,” Gackt informed Kami. “But you have to trust me.”

            “You know I do.” Kami replied and nodding Gackt pulled out a blindfold and tied it gently around Kami's head, cutting off his vision. Satisfied Kami couldn't see, Gackt gently lead him backstage and down a flight of stairs to the underbelly of the stage. Kami probably knew where they were but Gackt didn't entirely mind. As he began to unbutton Kami's shirt the other protested slightly.

            “This better not be a sex game!” Kami complained. “I want to go home!”

            “It's not a sex game. Trust me?” Gackt asked for a second time.

            “Yeah, I trust you.” Kami agreed, even though he was currently being strapped into some kind of harness. This felt a lot more like a sex game than a present but he did trust Gackt and the other had said it wasn't one. Still there was doubt in his mind and he began to wonder what the other was up too. He could hear things being moved around behind him and a few more straps added and then Gackt was finally happy his surprise was ready.

            “I'll be a few minutes. When you hear the piano, you can open your eyes.” Gackt informed Kami. “Can I remove the blindfold now? You promise not to peek?”

            “I won't peek.” Kami promised and nodding Gackt removed the blindfold and made his way back upstairs and onto the stage where his piano had been placed ready by two technicians who were in on his plans.

            “He's ready. Everything checked.” Gackt informed them and they nodded and got ready to work the machinery needed for Gackt's plan. Picking up a microphone Gackt went and sat at his piano and made his grand announcement via the speakers so that Kami could hear every word.

            “Baby. I know you want to grow wings and fly but until I figure out a way for you to do that I'm going to have to lend you mine.” Gackt announced, placing the microphone down and beginning to play Kami's favourite piece on the piano. The music filled the stage and arena and the trap door on the stage opened so that the man below could be pulled up through it on wires. Behind him was the wings Gackt used for the final act, Le Ciel and from the smile on Kami's face Gackt knew the other realised what he had done.

            As the piece ended, Gackt picked up his mic once more and smiled up at Kami with a look of pride.

            “I may be dragged into hell when I wear those wings, but that won't happen to you,” Gackt announced. “A man like you, can only rise up towards the heavens.”


	31. Forgive Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami believes Gackt has been cheating on him and Gackt is determined to find him and tell him the truth.

            The rain was falling down steadily outside but Gackt didn’t even pause to grab his coat. He had to find Kami. It was dangerous outside at night and the thought of Kami being out there alone was terrifying. If something happened to him then it would have all been Gackt’s fault. He never should have kissed Mana. That had been a mistake. It had just been one kiss but Kami had managed to pick the exact wrong moment to walk in. He needed to explain but his lover had already left.

            He cursed Mana as he hurried along the streets, frantically looking for the man who he had sworn he would love forever. Mana had deliberately tried to seduce him and he’d fallen for it like a fool. He’d even flirted back. No wonder Mana had kissed him.

            Reaching the end of the street he looked down the streets to his left and right and sighed in relief as he saw the red headed man halfway down the street to his left. Knowing calling his name would only make Kami run, Gackt walked quickly and quietly down the streets, his footsteps covered up by the sounds of water hitting the pavement.

            Finally reaching the older man Gackt stepped into his view and grabbed Kami’s wrist so he couldn’t run away.

            “Please Kami, let me explain.” Gackt begged, well aware that not all the water on Kami’s face was rain. The drummer was crying, he knew him well enough to tell that. It broke his heart to know that this was his fault. Silently he prayed that Kami would listen and forgive him.

            “I don’t want to hear your excuse. Közi told me everything.” Kami snapped trying, and failing, to pull his arm away from Gackt.

            “Közi?” Gackt repeated. “But he wasn’t even there.”

            “Mana told him,” Kami snapped angrily. “I know all about your affairs. I can’t believe you’ve been cheating on me for months! Have you no shame? Do you not care about me at all? Do you have any idea of the risks your putting me through? We don’t use protection because we knew we were both clean but you went and added Mana into the equation. Do you…”

            “It was one kiss!” Gackt shouted over Kami’s rant. “I would never sleep with another man. Only you know how to please me in bed. You’re my Kamifly and I promised to protect you.”

            “How can you lie right to my face?” Kami demanded. “You make me sick.”

            “Kami you know me,” Gackt begged. “Do I look like I’m lying? I love you and I made one stupid mistake. I let Mana kiss me. He initiated it, then you walked in. I don’t know what Közi has been telling you but it’s not true!”

            “Közi isn’t a liar.” Kami replied, studying Gackt carefully for any signs he was telling him anything but the truth.

            “But you said it yourself. Everything Közi knows he’s heard from Mana,” Gackt pointed out. “Have I ever lied to you? No. Has Mana?”

            “Yes.” Kami replied without hesitation. Mana had lied to everyone on several occasions.

            “Please believe me,” Gackt begged. “It was one kiss. That was all. I love you Kami. I love you more than anything in the world. I’m a flirt and a fool but not a cheat.”

            “Why would Mana lie?” Kami asked, wanting so much to forgive Gackt but still sceptical about what really happened.

            “Why do you think? He’s wanted me from day one but I choose you. He probably set it up so that you’d walk in on us.” Gackt replied.

            “That bastard!” Kami exclaimed. “Oh Gackt, I’m so sorry. I should have known you’d never do anything to hurt me.”

            “You believe me?” Gackt asked in surprised delight.

            “Yes,” Kami replied. “You’re my knight and Mana is a manipulative liar. I’ll believe you over him any day.”

            “Kami.” Gackt said, still in shock. How could Kami be so trusting and innocent? So many people had hurt him before and yet here he was believing Gackt on faith alone. “I love you so much.” Gackt finished, wrapping his arms around his lover and holding on for dear life. Kami in return held onto Gackt and leant his head against Gackt’s chest, relieved that it had all been a huge misunderstanding. Others might call him a fool for being so trusting and forgiving but he didn’t care. He just knew in his heart that Gackt hadn’t meant to hurt him. The rain was pouring down now in sheets of freezing cold wet drops but neither man noticed. Getting wet meant nothing. Not now they were back together.

 


	32. Lies

            “And then he kissed me.” Mana continued, sounding pleased with himself and to the casual listener he had every right to be. Mana had been after Gackt for months now and if what he was saying was true, Gackt had finally accepted his advances.

            “He kissed you?” Kami repeated, raising an eyebrow. He knew full well what Gackt had been doing that day and it certainly didn’t involve Mana.

            “And more.” Mana boasted, his arrogance annoying Kami. How could Mana stand there and lie so blatantly to them all? It was a good job Gackt wasn’t here to hear it. Not that Mana could make up such lies in Gackt presence but still.

            “Way to go!” Yu~ki congratulated Mana. Not that he cared who hooked up with who. He just liked the idea of sex.

            “I’m happy for you.” Közi muttered, with a hint of jealousy in his voice. It was that jealousy that caused Kami to speak up. It was no longer about his own feelings. Közi had confessed his feelings towards Mana to Kami after a heavy drinking session and Kami wasn’t about to let his friend have his heart broken for nothing.

            “I find it interesting how Gackt managed to sleep with you, when he was at my house watching DVD’s.” Kami commented casually enough, though there was a dangerous look in his eyes.

            “And what DVD was that?” Mana demanded, acting like the victim of an awful accusation, when in reality he was the one spreading lies.

            “mmm” Kami muttered as he remembered exactly what he had been watching and realised he couldn’t possibly admit they had been watching gay porn. “Jurassic Park.” He finished lamely.

            “You really should get a hold of your jealousy,” Mana snapped. “Face it, Gackt would never want a naïve man like you.”

            “You could have come up with a more convincing lie.” Yu~ki scolded, looking disappointed in Kami’s lying ability.

            “What lie?” Gackt asked, as he entered the room and sat beside Kami.

            “There’s an easy way to settle this,” Közi announced ignoring Gackt’s question. “Where were you Friday night?”

            “Watching DVD’s with Kami.” Gackt answered, without a moment’s hesitation.

            “Sorry Kami.” Yu~ki apologised before turning a cold gaze on Mana.

            “Let’s just get to work.” Közi suggested, picking up his guitar and walking past a furious Mana as if he wasn’t there. One by one the band members left in a similar fashion with a defeated Mana reluctantly following them. It never paid to lie.

           


	33. Guardian Angel

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Gackt is attacked and almost dies, he learns that he really does have an angel watching out for him.

The light shone in though the gap in the curtains, waking the sleeping man from his dreams. Rubbing his eyes Gackt sat up and promptly wished he hadn't, as it made his head hurt in agony. He must have been seriously drunk last night as he didn't remember anything. In fact, he couldn't even remember the first drink.

            “Gackt you need to rest.” His best friend informed him, sounding concerned but relieved.

            “You-chan? We didn't sleep together again, did we?” Gackt asked, as his vision slowly cleared. This wasn't his house, or You's, though it did look familiar.

            “Idiot,” You scolded. “Like that's ever going to happen again. You were attacked by your stalker, remember?”

            “No,” Gackt replied, annoyed at his own brain for failing him. “I'm in hospital?” He asked, as he recognised the surroundings. He had been to this hospital before but not this room. A luxury private hospital in the centre of Tokyo. He recognised it instantly.

            “Yeah the doctor said...” You began.

            “I feel fine.” Gackt interrupted.

            “You just had a blow to your head! You've been unconscious for almost two days!” You exclaimed, not believing Gackt for a second. He was right not to. Gackt's head was causing him agony and he was desperate to just slip back into unconsciousness. It was only his desire to leave the hospital that kept him awake.

            “And now I'm awake and fine. Well not entirely fine. I'm hungry but we can grab a bite to eat on my way home.” Gackt assured You.

            “Do you know why you were unconscious?” You asked stubbornly. He wasn't going to help Gackt leave the hospital. Not this time. No matter how much Gackt demanded it. Sure, Gackt could discharge himself and get a taxi home but You would do all in his power to stop this from happening.

            “Blow to a head,” Gackt replied. “You told me before.”

            “Which caused haemorrhaging in your brain.” You finished, watching as Gackt went pale.

            “You’re kidding me?!” Gackt exclaimed, as he finally obeyed the urge to lie back down.

            “No. I wouldn't kid about that,” You replied. “I know how much Kami meant to you. I'd never lie to you about your brain haemorrhaging.”

            “It's not fair,” Gackt complained. “I'm a terrible person and I survive but Kami doesn't? Kami was an angel! How is it fair that he is dead!?”

            “Gackt calm down.” You begged, as he saw Gackt was becoming worked up but it was too late. In the end a nurse had to give him a shot to help him sleep, as he had become almost hysterical in his grief.

 

            Gackt was dreaming. He knew that, though there were no obvious clues. The scenery was an exact replica of a park he had used to take Kami to before the drummer had died. It felt wrong without Kami here. He'd never been here without him and there, materialising before him, was a man glowing white. As the light faded Gackt saw long red hair and for a moment what he could have sworn were wings.

            “Kami.” Gackt whispered, as the figure took on the features of his lost love. He smiled, though it never reached his eyes. It was nice to dream about Kami but that was all it was. A dream.

            “Are you OK?” Kami asked, reaching out and caressing the side of Gackt's face just like he always had done.

            “Physically,” Gackt replied. “Kami it's not fair. I should be dead, not you.”

            “No, we should both be dead. I saved you.” Kami whispered.

            “You? But you're just a dream.” Gackt whispered.

            “Then I must be a bad one.” Kami joked.

            “Never. There's nothing bad about you.” Gackt replied stubbornly.

            “Apparently there's somebody who agrees with you,” Kami responded, surprising Gackt, Kami had never agreed to that statement before. “Or at least thinks I'm good enough. I'm no dream. Or ghost, I know you can see them. I'm an angel now.”

            “You always were.” Gackt replied, with a sad smile. Since when had his dreams been so weird?

            “Gackt, I'll leave you proof in your waking life. You were saved from death by me. It's not your time yet. When it is, I'll be there to guide you to heaven but promise me you'll try to be happy. I don't even care if you take on a new love, as long as you come to me when you die. What about You? I know you...”

            “No!” Gackt snapped, sitting up in the hospital bed startling You and Chachamaru, who had been talking quietly by his bed.

            “Gackt?” You asked, worried his friend was going to continue his fit.

            “That was...” Gackt began before his eyes fell on a single white feather on the night stand.             “Who put that there?” He demanded.

            “No one. It wasn't there before.” Chachamaru said confused. It would have been hard to miss a feather on top of the otherwise empty surface.

            “This is...” Gackt began, as the feather fell apart in his hand and a dozen tiny purple butterflies flew up forming a K before scattering into nothingness.

            “It's true,” Gackt whispered stunned. “It's really true!”

            “What is?” You asked but Gackt only smiled. Some things were best kept secret. They were just more special that way.

 

 


	34. Submit For Me

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Watching porn has given Kami some ideas that he just can't wait to try out.

Even before he had put on the DVD, Kami had known it was a bad idea. Watching porn when you were home alone, just because you missed your boyfriend, made a man hornier than he had been to begin with. It was a cheap fix that never lasted and although he had satisfied his sexuality apatite for the morning by evening, when Gackt was due home, he was desperate once more.  
He kept picturing a scene over and over again in his head and knew he wanted to test it out for real tonight. The submissive pleasuring himself with a vibrator, whilst he eagerly sucked off another man, he wanted to see that for himself. Tonight he was going to make Gackt submit.  
The second Gackt arrived home Kami was there, pinning him against a wall and kissing him madly, whilst his already hard penis pushed against Gackt's thigh. Just thinking about tonight had made him hard and needy and although he was acting like a slut right now, he knew Gackt would understand. They were after all long-time lovers and this wasn't the first time such a scene had taken place.  
“I know I'm hot but can I at least take of my shoes?” Gackt teased.  
“Off is good.” Kami agreed, as he let Gackt go to take of his shoes and socks. It was a nice day, so he wasn't wearing a coat or jacket, so as soon as Gackt was barefoot he was dragged by a keen Kami to the bedroom, where the vibrator was already waiting covered in lube.  
“You putting on a show for me?” Gackt asked hopefully.  
“No. More you're putting on one for me.” Kami replied and Gackt frowned. “Please? I've been thinking about it all day. That's why I'm so desperate.” Kami begged, knowing that Gackt always struggled to say no to him when he begged.  
“I don't know...” Gackt began to protest.  
“Please, you're going to be in full control.” Kami lied. He had no intention of being anything other than in charge tonight.  
“Kami!” Gackt complained but the other was already undressing him and before he knew it he was naked and his fingers were being coated with lube. Sitting back expectantly, Kami waited for Gackt to prepare himself and hesitantly Gackt slid a finger deep inside. The look of lustful delight on Kami's face was all the encouragement Gackt needed to commit himself fully to Kami's desires. This made his lover happy, then he would do it the best he could.  
Preparing himself quickly, Gackt then took the vibrator and switched it on before pushing it deep inside. It was a strange feeling of pleasure that filled him and he let out a small moan of bliss. Quickly finding his prostrate, Gackt began to complete enjoy the act and as Kami's erection appeared before his lips, he eagerly began to suck it just like the other wanted.  
'I'm so into this, I didn't even notice Kami was undressed.' Gackt realised, surprised at the revelation. This was something he'd never have thought to try on his own and it was only because of Kami's influence that he was doing it now.  
Above him Kami was grinning in delight. He too was surprised at how great this was turning out. Gackt was a lot hotter than any porn star he'd ever seen and it was a lot kinkier to see Gackt doing this. Beyond that, anything Gackt did to him was better than using his own hand and blow-jobs were Gackt's speciality.  
Time passed in a pleasured blur and Kami felt his orgasm climaxing and with a moan he was coming into Gackt's mouth without guilt, as he knew Gackt never minded. Then with a satisfied sigh, he lay beside Gackt on the bed and watched as the other continued to pleasure himself.  
“What would you like now master?” Gackt asked, startling Kami by his submissiveness.  
“Make yourself join me in post orgasm bliss.” Kami replied and with a nod Gackt wrapped his fingers along his already leaking erection and began to rub frantically, whilst his other hand continued to tease his prostrate with the toy. Feeling a little selfish for just watching, Kami bent over and began to kiss Gackt's lips, pleased when his lips parted to let Kami's tongue slip inside.  
Kami's hand joined Gackt's around his erection and together they brought Gackt to his own climax, in a harmony that only a couple that had been together a long time could achieve. Without a word the toy was removed and pushed to one side and the pair continued to kiss with wandering hands.  
“You know I won't be submissive for a while now,” Gackt whispered to Kami. “You sure you've had enough?”  
“Can I ever have enough?” Kami asked, already understanding what Gackt meant. Sure enough strong fingers were teasing his penis to life once more and feeling incredibly pleased with himself, Kami positioned himself between Gackt's legs and pushed himself inside.  
Surrounded by a tight heat Kami moaned and felt his lover’s legs wrap around his body, pulling him deeper inside. Getting the hint, he began to move at a steady pace as his fingers wrapped around Gackt's erection once more. Together they experienced the joy of sex once more, until exhausted and satisfied the pair orgasmed only seconds apart and settle down in each other’s arms, happy and almost completely content.  
“I'm hungry.” Kami complained a little later, as he lay in Gackt's arms feeling like the luckiest man on earth.  
“Well you're not leaving me.” Gackt replied, as he quickly locating the phone and handed it to Kami with the instruction to order whatever he pleased.  
“Tonight you've made me feel like a king,” Kami commented when he was finished. “It just makes me love you all the more. Thank you for letting me lead.”


	35. Lifestyle

Kami was struggling to get used to this lifestyle of excess and decadence. He always had been a careful spender, saving his pennies for a rainy day, but Gackt loved luxury. Gackt was extravagant in his tastes and couldn't understand Kami's more simple up bringing. Decadence wasn't something Kami found he even enjoyed, though there was one area that he loved to indulge. As shocking as it might be to some people, Kami was a right whore in the bedroom. He was demanding and needy and referred to an hour of sex as a quickie. It was in this area where he and Gackt truly saw eye to eye, lavishing money on toys, silk sheets, kinky clothes. There was no expense too great when it came to sexual pleasure and never such a concept as too much. So as much as Kami struggled to adjust with his new lifestyle, he knew he'd never go back because living without Gackt was simply impossible.


	36. Kami's Spending Spree

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami had always been taught to be careful when spending money but Gackt is determined to see his lover in designer clothes.

            “You know Kami, I'm kind of impressed,” Gackt admitted one day, as he was eating dinner at Kami's home. They were a new couple and things were still exciting, and sometimes stressful, in their relationship. “Our first big check from Malice and you didn't even go on a spending spree.”

            “What are you talking about?” Kami asked. “I went shopping just like everyone else.”

            “You bought maybe 20,000 yen worth of clothes on the high street and charity shops. I can spend more than that on a shirt.” Gackt remarked rolling his eyes.

            “And I took my family out for a meal,” Kami replied. “But I suppose I have saved a lot. No point spending it all in one go, we don't know when the next check will come.”

            “You didn't even buy designer socks!” Gackt complained. “Even Yu~ki bought designer socks!”

            “Well I’ve never really seen the attraction of designer clothes,” Kami explained. “They look exactly the same as regular ones.”

            “They...” Gackt began, too stunned to comment. “They may look similar but there so much more stylish! It's like comparing Arabian horses with a Clydesdale.”

            “You know that metaphor goes completely above my head, right?” Kami asked, having a vague idea what an Arabian horse looked like but not a Clydesdale.

            “Trust me, people can tell the difference.” Gackt informed Kami firmly.

            “Well who cares? As long as it looks good and fits your own personal style.” Kami replied firmly.

            “It feels better,” Gackt muttered. “Seriously Kami, I’d love to see you in just one designer outfit. Can't you do that for me?”

            “It's a lot of money to spend just to please my boyfriend?” Kami replied, feeling nervous about referring to Gackt like that. What if Gackt didn't think their relationship was that serious? Had he crossed a line in using it?

            “We're going to be earning a small fortune soon enough,” Gackt replied. “Come on Kami, how about I treat you to a luxurious meal if you do this for me?”

            “What kind of meal?” Kami asked curious.

            “I'm not saying, but if you don't do this, I might decide you can't mention butterflies every again.” Gackt replied, though Kami suspected from the grin on his face he didn't actually mean that.

 

            In the end Kami had relented to Gackt's demands, though they went against his upbringing. He'd always been taught to save money, to find bargains and not be wasteful but one conversation with Gackt and here he was looking around designer boutiques for anything he could find that didn't feel like it was too ridiculously overpriced.          The agreement he'd had with Gackt was that he'd pick out an outfit, consisting of a shirt and trousers, that was suitable for a meal out but right now he wasn't finding anything. He simply couldn't see the difference in designer clothing to that found on the high street.

            “Can I help you?” A shop assistant asked but Kami rejected the offer and soon left the shop feeling annoyed. This meal really wasn't worth wasting his money and it was only the fact that it seemed to mean so much to Gackt that stopped him giving up entirely.

            Out of the blue an idea came to him and he quickly located an internet café to look up the location of second hand and factory outlet shops. He found several in the nearby area and feeling smug he drove to a large vintage clothes shop that offered a wide selection of designer clothes.

            The prices were more reasonable here but still expensive but Kami knew he wasn't going to do any better and selected a pair of tight fitting white trousers and a blue shirt which made him look sexy but in a subtle way.

 

            “So, what do you think?” Kami asked, as he showed off his new purchases with a smile.

            “You went vintage?” Gackt asked straight away, though how he had noticed was anybody’s guess. “Trust you to find a way to save money!”

            “Is it wrong?” Kami worried.

            “No, it's totally like you to do that,” Gackt replied, wrapping an arm around Kami's waist and pulling him close for a kiss. “We wouldn't expect a Kamifly to wear what everyone else is wearing, now would we?”

            “No, I'm proud of being myself,” Kami replied with a grin. “But can I ask you, what did you buy with your check?”

            “Well there's the meal tonight,” Gackt explained. “But what I splashed out on is the one thing better than designer clothes.”

            “Which is?” Kami asked.

            “Having them custom made.” Gackt bragged, making Kami laugh uncontrollably. Trust Gackt to go that one extra step and outdo them all. If Kami was an expert on saving money, then Gackt was an expert on spending it. Perhaps it was true to say that opposites attract. Though it was nice they had some things in common too because otherwise how would their relationship work?


	37. Enigma

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami never could understand Gackt. He felt the more he knew about the other, the harder it got to know who he really was. But perhaps learning Gackt's secret might help clear things up

            “Where’s everyone else?” Gackt asked Kami, as he walked back into the meeting room after a quick bathroom break.

            “They took the chance to escape,” Kami replied slightly nervous. “I was elected to stay and tell you.”

            “Escape?” Gackt repeated. “Real mature.”

            “Well it’s almost half seven,” Kami remarked “And the meeting was supposed to end over two hours ago.”

            “So instead of finishing the meeting, you all decided to run off while I was in the bathroom?” Gackt demanded growing annoyed.

            “Sorry. It was four against one.” Kami apologised, only accentuating Gackt’s anger.

            “You too?” Gackt demanded. “I expected better from you!”

            “Sorry,” Kami apologised. Ignoring him Gackt began to clear away his papers from the table. “Are you mad at me?” Kami needlessly asked.

            “What do you think?” Gackt snapped. “We can’t even have a sensible meeting to discuss the band’s future without it turning into a battle field. Only now I’m on my own. When did you start taking their side? What happened to the days we fought together?”

            “This isn’t about sides. We’re a band. We’re meant to be as one.” Kami complained.

            “No, you lot are a band. I’m just the vocalist you all put up with.” Gackt sighed.

            “Don’t you think you’re overreacting?” Kami asked, getting annoyed by Gackt’s accusations of his betrayal. “All we want is a few months off to recover!”

            “Don’t you see!” Gackt complained. “Now is our chance to become world famous. Resting is the last thing we should do!”

            “Only you want world fame! The rest of us are happy with what we already have. More than happy. It’s beyond what we hoped for.” Kami argued right back.

            “But,” Gackt began, only to be stopped by the look on Kami’s face. A look that told him that he really shouldn’t argue any more. “It just hurts that even you can’t see my vision.” Gackt finished with a sigh.

            “What do you want from me?” Kami demanded. “All this time you have told me to follow my own heart, do what I believe is right, yet when I do you get mad because what I want isn’t the same as what you want.”

            “I’m sorry.” Gackt apologised, feeling a little guilty. Kami was right. He had been the one to teach the drummer how to stand up for himself. It was hypocritical to complain now that Kami was standing up against him.

            “Why does my opinion mean so much to you?” Kami asked after a moment of silence. “You don’t shout at any off the others for not agreeing with you. Not individually anyway.”

            “Because you’re the only person whose opinion matters to me!” Gackt exclaimed. “You’re the one I care about. The others are just people I work with but you…. You’re a true friend. That’s why I get mad at you. I thought you felt the same.”

            “Friends can disagree,” Kami answered. “Come on Gackt, stop taking this all so personally.”

            “I guess.” Gackt sighed.

            “Want to have dinner with me?” Kami offered.

            “I thought you were mad at me.” Gackt commented.

            “No. You’re mad at me. I’m just confused.” Kami replied, taking Gackt’s hand and leading him out of the room. It was true, he was confused. Gackt always had been an enigma to him. The more he knew about the vocalist, the less he understood him.

 

            Gackt was quiet in the restaurant, obviously deep in thought. Recognising the signs well, Kami decided to stay quiet and began to look through the menu. Coming here had been a test of sorts. Gackt’s acceptance of the invite proved he couldn’t be too mad, though his attitude now said different.

            Kami took his time to choose his meal and then lowered the menu to find a pair of blue eyes staring intently at him. A startling sapphire blue that looked fake to Kami, who knew full well that Gackt was still wearing his contacts. It was a pity because his natural dark brown eyes were so beautiful to him, sparkling like the obsidian stones Gackt loved to wear.

            “I’m sorry,” Gackt said quietly. “I shouldn’t have taken my anger out on you.”

            “It’s OK,” Kami replied surprised Gackt had apologised. He must have been feeling extremely guilty to have admitted he was wrong. “I can understand how you feel. It’s never nice to feel like you’re on your own.”

            “It’s because I love you,” Gackt responded. “That’s why I care too much about your opinion.”

            “And I love you.” Kami replied with a laugh. Gackt could be so affectionate sometimes.

            “I mean I really love you,” Gackt corrected. “Not as a band mate or a friend but as a lover. It’s eating me up inside. It’s OK if you only love me as a friend but I thought it was time you knew.”

            “You love me?” Kami repeated.

            “I do,” Gackt replied taking Kami’s hand. “I love you Kami.”

            “I don’t know how to respond,” Kami nervously replied. “I care about you but…”

            “Only as a friend.” Gackt finished. “That’s OK. I can deal with that.”

            “That wasn’t what I was going to say,.” Kami corrected. “I was going to say ‘I care about you but I don’t know if it’s in the way you want. However I’m willing to try.”

            “You are?” Gackt asked.

            “I am,” Kami replied. “I think maybe I could go gay, if only for you.”

 


	38. The Exchange of Life

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> For a vampire blood is life but that doesn't mean you have to treat humans as your prey.

            He could smell the blood pulsing through his lover’s neck, even from this distance. A sweet spicy aroma that made his fangs twitch in excitement, although he ignored them. Kami was his lover not his dinner and though he would drink from him, it would be an act of love and they would both enjoy it.

            No words were spoken, though the soft smile on Kami's lips welcomed Gackt into his embrace and he held on to Kami, his lover, his companion, his life as he smelt the chemical flowery scent of his shampoo that always coated Kami's long hair like a cloak. To a human it probably just smelt of flowers but Gackt's nose could detect every ingredient individually, as well as the softer undertone of human hair. It wasn't a bad smell, in fact it was really nice, though real flowers would be better.

            The blood was stronger now and Gackt was hungry, his fangs twitched in his mouth and extended halfway, a painful reminder that he needed to feed. Reluctantly he pulled back and opened his mouth just enough to show Kami his fangs, knowing his lover would understand his need.

            Understanding flashed through Kami's eyes and reaching up he pushed his hair away from his shoulder and neck, tilting his head for Gackt to drink easier. There was no fear or anxiety, instead a look that could almost pass as desire and it made Gackt smile softly, loving Kami just that little bit more for being so understanding, though even now he wouldn't lunge at his lover. He had enough self-control to be gentle, to be kind and not because that was the easiest way to keep his favourite food supply happy. He genuinely cared for the man and would change him to a vampire too one day, when he could handle the thought of not been able to drink his delicious life blood any more.

            Gackt's lips met Kami's neck and he kissed the skin gently as his fangs extended fully, hard and ready for action in a parody of a human’s desire for sex. Not that vampire didn't like sex too, he loved it, but feeding was just as important to him. Just as desirable.

            A few more kisses landed on Kami's neck, as gentle as butterfly’s wings and then the quick sharp pain of having Gackt's fangs buried in his neck surprised Kami, though he didn't gasp or pull away. He knew the rest was only pleasurable and as his blood spilt he felt warm and loved. His life was feeding Gackt, keeping him young and strong, and for that Kami felt important and blessed. To keep Gackt happy was his second greatest desire, his first to remain by Gackt's side and in his heart. He was giving his life to Gackt right now, literally, but he knew that his life would be meaningless if the vampire was no longer in it. Perhaps this feeding worked both ways? It felt like it because though Kami could sometimes feel weak from blood loss, emotionally he always felt stronger for it. Gackt's existence was food for his soul.


	39. Literal Sex

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Sex written as scientifically, and literally, as I could manage.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This was written as a joke/challenge.

            Gackt placed his lips over Kami's own as they kissed. It was a nice pleasing sensation, that made him feel happy so he made no rush to stop. His hands moved over Kami's body, carefully removing articles of clothing from the other man. As Kami did the same to Gackt the vocalist found himself naked and his penis aroused.

            He was aroused from the hormones rushing around his blood stream, quickened by his rapidly beating heart. His eyes sent the message to his brain that Kami too had testosterone pumping through his body, due to the erect state of his penis.

            Gackt touched Kami's skin all over, knowing that this would heighten Kami's state of arousal before deciding he would prepare his lover for penetration as to decrease the pain caused when his erection pushed into Kami's body.

            Gackt slid his finger into Kami's ass and followed it with a second, causing the other man to let out a gasp that was both pleasure and pain. Knowing Kami liked this feeling, Gackt continued, pushing a second finger into his lover. His fingers then parted away from each other stretching the passage inside Kami.

            When Kami was ready Gackt pushed his erection into the slightly older man and began to move backwards and forwards in a rocking motion causing his arousal to move inside Kami. This brought them both intense pleasure, that made sounds escape their lips.

            They continued like this for some time, until Gackt's body became aroused enough for him to ejaculate inside the other man. He removed his penis and left his semen inside the drummer. The sperm swam around for a while but was unable to find an egg to impregnate and so later died. As there were no viruses in Gackt's ejaculation, Kami was left unaffected by this incident, though it took some time for his body to recover from the intrusion.

            As Kami was still in an aroused state, Gackt moved down onto his knees and placed his lips over Kami's erection, sucking lightly as to cause pleasure. Kami enjoyed this and reached the same state of arousal that had caused Gackt to ejaculate before.

            Ejaculating into Gackt's mouth, Kami felt intense pleasure from orgasm. His semen was swallowed by Gackt and then burnt up by stomach acid before being digested by the vocalist.

            The act of sex complete left both men with a sense of accomplishment for carrying out their biological purpose. The physical exertion had left them feeling tired and so they lay down and fell asleep. This act would be repeated many times.


	40. Valentine's Chocolates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> It's valentine’s day and all the girls are sending Gackt gifts but Kami just can't help but be jealous

            As Kami sat at his desk across the office from Gackt, he couldn't help but find his heart being filled with jealousy. It was valentine’s day, the one day of the year girls were encouraged to give chocolates to the men they loved. Of course with commercialisation and the sweet companies after more profits it had become standard for girls to give chocolates to their work colleagues, or classmates. Naturally a nice attractive man like himself had more than his fair share but so did Gackt and from the way he was thanking each girl, it was clear he was loving the attention.

            “Ukyou-san. I've bought you some chocolates.” Announced a girl that Kami recognised from the floor above. She was a nice girl and Kami thanked her politely and she seemed happy enough with that response. It was then Kami noticed the engagement ring on her finger and knew it had only been a friendly gesture, maybe to thank him for fixing her printer last week.

            Across the room it was clear that the chocolates Gackt was receiving were more than friendly gestures and Kami was less than pleased at Gackt's flirtatious response. The problem was he loved Gackt, or at least had a bad crush on the other man. To have to sit here and watch Gackt flaunt his sexuality was almost too much to bare.

            “Why didn't you send him chocolates?” The girl asked him and Kami realised she was still there watching him.

            “I'm not a woman.” Kami replied.

            “You're thinking about this the wrong way.” The girl scolded. “Instead of thinking 'women send gifts' perhaps you should think 'men receive them'?”

            “How do you know I like him anyway?” Kami asked.

            “Because I am a woman,” The girl replied with a wink. “Seriously Ukyou-san, you should have sent him something. He'd have liked that.”

            “I doubt it.” Kami replied.

            “I'm a girl, I know he'd have loved it.” She replied. turning to leave Kami to ponder her statement.

 

            Deciding he had nothing to lose. Kami left the office on his lunch break and headed to the nearest supermarket praying they had some chocolates left. There was but they seemed rather small and insignificant to the collection Gackt already had. How could a small box of supermarket chocolates compete with some of the home-made ones Gackt already had?

            Remembering the girls words 'You're thinking about this the wrong way' Kami realised that once again she was right. Gackt had chocolates, more than he could really want, perhaps being different was the way to get attention. Grabbing a few items. Kami paid and hurried back to the office to prepare his present knowing that even if it failed his gift would be unique.

 

            It was early afternoon when Kami gathered the confidence to give Gackt the gift. He was pretty much convinced that Gackt was straight but today was about showing affection. As long as he played it cool. he doubted Gackt would be uncomfortable by the gesture. He could always laugh it off as a joke if the other seemed offended.

            “Camui-San.” Kami called out timidly. as he approached Gackt's desk. He could tell a few other workers were watching him, had seen what he was carrying and understood, but he didn't care. It was only Gackt's reaction that mattered.

            “It's OK, call me Gackt.” The man said with a smile. “What is that?”

            “Well I wanted to buy you chocolates but there was nothing nice left so late and....” Kami stammered. “I wanted to be different.” And with that he placed the large white box on the table in front of Gackt. With surprise clearly evident on his face, Gackt pulled open the box and smiled as he saw what was inside.

            “You bought me strawberries?” Gackt asked, “I love strawberries.”

            “There's more,” Kami commented. “Look in the lid.”          

            “Dear Gackt-san,.” Gackt read out loud. “So you write Gackt-san and call me Camui-san?”

            “Please don't mock me.” Kami begged but Gackt ignored him and carried on reading the message.

            “Thank you for making this office such a fun place to work. Kami.” Gackt finished.

            “Why did you have to read it out loud?” Kami demanded, mortified by embarrassment.

            “Looks like somebody else has a crush on Camui-san.” A co-worker called out and laughter filled the office.

            “Hey Ukyou-san. Perhaps if you grow some breasts, Camui-san might like you back.” Another man called back and Kami felt like he was about to cry.

            “I'm sorry I read it out loud,” Gackt informed Kami, ignoring the men around him. “Perhaps you'd like to read out my response?”

            “Yeah, let's hear it!” The first man called out and Gackt quickly scribbled out a message on a scrap of paper that was handed to Kami. Suspecting this was just the next level of humiliation, Kami read the note silently before glancing at Gackt for a moment.

            “Dear Kami-san,” Kami read out loud, turning his back on Gackt and facing the men who had been teasing him. “You could grow breasts for me and become a woman but what's the point when your beautiful the way you are. Yours is the best valentines gift I've ever received and so my answer to your next question is yes. Gackt.”

            “Ask the question.” Gackt encouraged and Kami frowned, as there was no hint to what the question could be.

            “Can I have your number?” Kami tried.

            “Yes, but that wasn't the right question.” Gackt teased.

            “Well what is it then?” Kami demanded.

            “Something like, 'Would you like to go out for drinks after work'.” Gackt replied.

            “Yes.” Kami responded.

            “Idiots, you got it the wrong way around!” Someone called out but neither man cared what anyone else in the office thought any more, not now they were just rediscovering each other.


	41. Kami's Secret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami is finally moving in with his lover but he's worried that Gackt will find out his most guarded secret.

            Originally Kami had been excited and flattered when Gackt suggested they should live together. He had thought it was exactly what he wanted and was there so often that it felt like he lived with Gackt already. He adored the vocalist and knew the other loved him, there was just one problem, one secret he wasn't sure if he could tell his lover.

            It wasn't the sex toys that he had packed away in a shoe box knowing the chances Gackt would let him use them were slim, his lover wasn't kinky but he didn't judge those who were and there was nothing extreme in the box anyway.

            It wasn't his collection of shojo manga, that he kept hidden beneath his bed either. He had seen Gackt had a similar collection of his own, hidden but not very well, and knew they even shared some of the same titles.

            It wasn't the clothes he found way back at the bottom of his wardrobe, that made him blush as he remembered a time he had worn them, had he really been so insane? Well they could go straight to charity, Gackt would never have to know. Though his lover was so nosy he probably had already seen them anyway.

            No, what Kami was most ashamed off was Kuma-chan. A large pink teddy bear that even had a bright red heart on its forehead. It had been Kami's favourite toy as a child, stolen from his sister, and he couldn't part with her. What would Gackt say about this toy though? She'd been so cleverly hidden for so long but now Gackt would find her for sure.

            Gackt thought he was tough and would be shocked if he found out Kami slept with the bear whenever he was home alone. What would a macho man like Gackt think about his Kuma-chan? Clutching the bear to his chest, Kami contemplated leaving the bear behind. Throwing her in the charity bags or finding some child to give it to but he just couldn't. Not to Kuma-chan!

            Kami was so upset at the concept that he didn't hear Gackt enter his home or come to help him pack. He didn't see Gackt watching him hug the bear, or the soft smile that crossed his features. Not until it was too late to deny his affection anyway.

            “Gackt I...” Kami stammered but Gackt only took the bear from him and placed her in a box of clothes ready to take to his home.

            “So, this is why you didn't want me to help?” Gackt asked and Kami nodded slightly embarrassed. “Silly, like I’d care about your teddy bear!” Gackt scolded his lover, pulling him close so that they could embrace. “You think I haven't noticed you can't sleep without something to hug?”

            “If it helps, you make me feel safer than Kuma-chan.” Kami informed Gackt who smiled and held him tighter.

            “I know,” Gackt replied. “Kuma-Chan might be a fierce teddy bear but I doubt he has even a single black belt, what good is he at protecting you?”

            “She protected me from the monster under my bed as a kid!” Kami exclaimed defensively, emphasising the teddy’s gender that Gackt had got wrong.

            “Of course, but now you have me. Kuma-Chan will have to be my lieutenant.” Gackt informed Kami, who nodded happily.

            “Kuma-chan accepts that,” Kami announced. “And she wants you to know that she's glad you want to be her friend. She thought you would mock her.”

            “I’d never mock one of Kami's friends.” Gackt promised and Kami knew that the vocalist meant every word.


	42. Confessions

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami knows he has to admit he's gay to his old friends from school but that takes courage and Kami is worried he'll be rejected.

            Kami was sat with a couple of his old school friends, enjoying a beer as they all watched the baseball, feeling like a kid again. It was nice to feel so young and free again, without commitment and no knowledge he was anything but normal. He loved Gackt, he truly did, but being gay was so much harder than being straight. Constantly judged by closed minded people, who simply refused to accept love in any form other than what they knew. He knew he couldn't go straight now, sexuality wasn't a choice, but his old friends didn't know the truth though he planned to tell them. Later when the game was over and he'd had enough fun to make sure this wasn't a wasted visit.

            “So Kami, I bet you have all the girls chasing after you, now you're so famous.” Teased his friend Masato, startling Kami from his thoughts. His friends had been commenting on the cheerleaders before he'd let his mind wander and it must have been noticed that Kami hadn't stated an opinion on any of them. Great, he'd have to share sooner than he thought but for now he'd be non-committal just in case he could get away with it.

             “Yeah, I have girls chasing me,” Kami agreed. “Gackt gets most of course but I get more than my share.”

            “You should date the loudest,” Masato informed him. “A bossy girl is exactly what a guy like you needs.”

            “It's great in the bedroom too,” Spoke up a guy name Yuji. “Lay back and let yourself be dominated.”

            “It is good to be dominated.” Kami muttered, blushing slightly.

            “So, are you seeing anyone?” Masato asked. “Some beautiful model? A talented actress who's great to talk to, or perhaps another musician who shares your passion?”

            “A vocalist,” Kami replied. “Guys I think...”

            “Who?” Yuji asked eagerly, as everyone turned to hear the name of whatever celebrity Kami had managed to claim as his.

            “Don't act too shocked, OK?” Kami asked and his friends encouraged him just to share the name. “Gackt.”

            “What Malice Gackt?” Yuji asked stunned, the first in a thousand questions, none of which Kami could answer thanks to somebody asking another before he could begin to think.

            “Guys enough!” Masato complained. “Let Kami talk already!”

            “So, you're gay?” Yuji asked.

            “I think so. With Gackt sex is amazing. With a woman it was nice,” Kami explained. “I don't know, perhaps I'm bi and Gackt is really great in bed? Or perhaps I'm not gay at all and Gackt is just a sex god nobody can say no too?”

            “Please, your gay, I’ve always known.” Hiroto remarked rolling his eyes. “It's fine, my brother’s gay you know.”

            “Shinji? Really?” Kami asked.

            “Right so Kami's gay and everyone here is cool with it.” Masato announced firmly for his friends benefit, he knew how shy and timid Kami could be. Surprisingly there was no complaints and though not everyone looked entirely happy they were all sticking around and at least pretending they were. It meant a lot but it was Masato's loyalty that mean the most, the other always had looked after him in school, kept him from getting bullied and even as adults he seemed to be doing the same.

            “So what's Gackt really like?” Hiroto asked.

            “He can be quiet sometimes, he likes to hear others speak but still have the entire focus of attention on him,” Kami explained. “Always smiling and joking. He's fun and his confidence is so strong it makes up for what I lack in that department.”

            “And his cock?” Yuji teased.

            “Twice the size of yours,” Kami answered easily, making his friends laugh. “And he knows exactly how to use it.”

            “When have you even seen mine?” Yuji demanded clearly worried.

            “Oh you know, I raped you in your sleep on every sleep over.” Kami joked, getting a cushion thrown in his face by his annoyed friend.

            “Yes, but I was a much better rape victim,” Hiroto spoke up. “Nice and loose from my brother...”

            “Too far!” Yuji complained but it didn't matter to Kami, who was just relieved his friends were laughing and joking so easily again. Coming out to them had been so scary but now it was over he could truly enjoy himself.

            “So what else?” Hiroto asked. “What would Gackt be doing if he was here right now?”

            “Other than raping Yuji,” Kami began, unable to resist mocking his friend. “He's possessive. He'd be holding me and making it clear I was his.”

            “Possessive?” Masato repeated, clearly worried.

            “Not in a bad way,” Kami explained. “Protective, he doesn't like to see me hurt. But yeah, he does like to show me off in public. I couldn't stay in the closet long with him. He wouldn't put up with that.”

            “Well he shouldn't. A guy like him should have a partner he's proud off, you too.” Hiroto replied firmly.

            “And the others?” Yuji asked. “What's Yu~ki like? He sounds like such a pervert in interviews. My kind of man.”

            “You'd get along.” Kami agreed, smiling happily as he got questioned by his friends about his new celebrity life, knowing that no matter how much he had changed over the last few years, his friends still loved him.


	43. The King's Orders

            Gackt entered the mansion and looked around at the unhappy faces with curiosity. He knew he must have worried him, the vampire king never took lightly to his favourite being away too long.

            “Oh thank the dark lords!” Exclaimed a vampire who had been sitting by the stairs in a sulk. He had long dark wavy hair and was one of the oldest humans the king had changed.

            “Happy to see me?” Gackt teased Yu~ki.

            “His Royal Highness has been bullying me again!” Yu~ki sulked. “Make him stop!”

            “But it’s fun when he bullies you.” Gackt remarked with a smirk.

            “Gackt!” Yu~ki whined. “He’s confiscated my hentai collection! All of it!”

            “Why?” Gackt asked.

            “Because he said that if he wasn’t getting any, neither could I!” Yu~ki explained. “I want it back! You’d better go right now.”

            “And while you’re at it,” Remarked a red-haired vampire. “Get me back my anime.”

            “And hello to you. Some friend you are Közi.” Gackt sulked.

            “I’d have said hi but I don’t want to waste time. The king is being awful because he’s lonely and in a bad mood. He took my anime because he wants me to be as miserable as him.”

 

            Gackt gently knocked on the king’s door worried. What was bothering their king so much, that he was taking it out on his subjects? It had to be more than his departure.

            “Whatever it is, you can’t have it!” The King snapped and rolling his eyes Gackt entered the room.

            “Shall I go away then?” He teased.

            “Gackt!” Cried the king, running over and flinging his arms around Gackt in a massive hug.

            “Kami what’s wrong?” Gackt asked. “Why have you banned Közi’s anime?”

            “Because nobody else deserves to be happy when I’m not.” Kami responded with a pout.

            “Surely you didn’t miss me that much. I was only ten days.”

            “Every day without you is hell,” Kami responded. “And, well I found out where you were going.”

            “For the last time I don’t love Mana!” Gackt exclaimed.

            “Then why do you always answer his summons?” Kami demanded.

            “To avoid a clan war,” Gackt responded. “I always reject his advances. Even if I wasn’t with you, I’d reject his advances. He creeps me out. We have nothing in common and I hate the way he forces his subjects to wear the clothes he orders.”

            “I can’t help but get jealous.” Kami sulked.

            “I know. Now come on, give back the stuff you’ve confiscated.” Gackt ordered.

            “No!” Kami snapped. “I want to spend the rest of today with you. They can have it back tomorrow.”

            “Well I have no complaints about that.” Gackt grinned, as he placed his lips on Kami’s own. After all a loyal vampire like him would never question the orders from his king. Especially not when they benefited them both.


	44. A Not So Secret Shower

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gackt just wanted a peaceful shower but Kami has other ideas.

            Gackt knew Kami liked bondage and he had given in to Kami's requests to tie him up more than once. He trusted his lover completely and though he never wanted to submit, he didn't hate it either. Not when the red-haired man was involved anyway. He may be egotistical but he wasn't entirely selfish. Besides he loved Kami and wanted the drummer to be happy, no matter what.

            All that said, Gackt had never expected to find himself handcuffed in the shower but here he was with his hands firmly locked in handcuffs that were wrapped around the metal shower support. He was trapped and knew Kami was loving it.

            “When did you even get home?” Gackt asked his lover, who was already as wet and naked as he was.

            “A few minutes ago,” Kami replied, leaning against Gackt and wrapping his arms around his waist. “I heard the shower running and thought you might like some help.”

            “Did you now?” Gackt teased.

            “Yeah,” Kami replied, running his tongue along the top of Gackt's shoulder tasting nothing but water. Clearly Gackt had been showering for a while and was already clean but Kami wouldn't let that ruin his fun. “Would you like me to wash you?”

            “Well I can't wash myself anymore,” Gackt replied, with a playful smile on his lips. He knew exactly where this was going to end up and would do nothing to hinder it getting there. “My shower gel is over there.”

            “OK.” Kami replied, quickly locating the familiar bottle and pouring a small amount onto his hands. He started on Gackt's back, rubbing the soap into a thick lather that was quickly washed away by the water that was falling from the shower head. Continuing like this he washed Gackt's ass and then his legs before starting again from the top, this time washing Gackt's arms chest and stomach before spending a lot of time over Gackt's crotch, deliberately rubbing his length until it was hard and needy, his own growing hard too, as if mimicking Gackt's need.

            “Has anyone ever told you, that you're beautiful?” Kami asked, stroking Gackt's ego for a second before adding. “It's only because your naked that I know you’re actually a man.”

            “I'm all man.” Gackt boasted, making Kami laugh.

            “Not tonight,” Kami teased. “And there's not a thing you can do about it.”

            “Nothing at all?” Gackt asked. “Well I suppose I should let my big strong effeminate man have his wicked way with me. You calling me a girl is a joke!”

            “Hey! I'm so obviously a man that I don't have to pretend to be big and tough like you do with your martial arts and... no I'm struggling to find anything else manly about you.” Kami finished with a pout. This argument wasn't leading him in the right direction anymore and deciding to put an end to it, Kami claimed Gackt's lips with his own kissing him desperately until their disagreement was all but forgotten. At least by Kami, who fell to his knees and wrapped his mouth around Gackt's impressive length and began to eagerly please his lover as he had a thousand times before.

            “See. You're the woman.” Gackt mocked, unable to let anything go, though Kami decided to act deaf to the remark. Gackt looked more like a woman than he ever could and really it wasn't like it even mattered. Right now all he wanted to do was pleasure Gackt and so he did just that, reaching around to slide a finger into Gackt's entrance to prepare him for what was to come.

            Gackt flinched at the intrusion that he wasn't used to and hadn't expected. He wasn't the type of man to easily submit but Kami was giving him no choice. For a second he wondered if he should protest but at that moment Kami's finger found his prostrate and a wave of intense pleasure filled him, reminding Gackt exactly why he did submit occasionally.

            “Do you like this?” Kami teased, leaving Gackt's erection alone for now. “Do you like being treated like my woman?”

            “No.” Gackt replied stubbornly before letting out another moan of pleasure as Kami's finger brushed his prostrate again.

            “That wasn't very convincing,” Kami informed Gackt, standing up and kissing Gackt firmly. “I think you love it but your pride gets in your way. Don't be ashamed. You know how much I love to feel your cock sliding deep inside me, filling me in ways I never thought possible.”

            “Well that can be arranged,” Gackt replied. “Just undo these handcuffs and...”       

            “But that just wouldn't be fair,” Kami scolded, as he slid a second finger inside of Gackt. “It's your turn to experience the pleasure.”

            “Right.” Gackt muttered before claiming Kami's lips with his own. He was unable to protest or submit to this and so he'd do neither. Whatever happened now was entirely Kami's responsibility and he would offer no part in the decision making.

            They kissed until Kami felt Gackt was well prepared and slipping back behind him, he gently pushed his length inside the vocalist being as slow as gentle as his need would allow him. Once fully inside Gackt, he stopped and simply held his lover close, enjoying this intimacy and wanting to make it last.

            Picking up a slow and gentle pace, Kami continued to hold Gackt, bemused by the moans escaping his partner’s lips. Gackt couldn't hide how much he enjoyed this, no matter how hard he tried but the fact he did try made this so much more exciting. To make Gackt submit truly was a conquest and Kami savoured the moment with delight.

            “Think you can handle it a little faster?” Kami asked, growing desperate to find his relief. Slow and gentle was all well and good but there was nothing like a good fast pace to bring him to completion.

            “I can handle anything you throw at me.” Gackt mocked and with a smile Kami turned serious, pleasuring himself inside Gackt with as much force as he dared, his hand finding its way to Gackt's length where he stroked it with fast firm strokes losing himself in the moment. There was nothing but their bodies and the water that still fell over them like hot rain.

            The bathroom filled with the sounds of moans and cries of pleasure and Kami felt like he could be like this forever, though nature had its way and he finally came, shaking against Gackt as his hand finished his lover off almost automatically.

            With a feeling of pure contentment, Kami released Gackt and fell into the offered arms that wrapped around him holding him close. Kami knew that in this relationship he probably was the more feminine one but he'd never let Gackt know that, just like Gackt would never ask Kami to take the lead. Some secrets were best left unspoken, even when you knew perfectly well that your lover knew them as well as you did.


	45. Misunderstandings

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> After a night of sex goes wrong Gackt and Kami are no longer talking but perhaps an outside man can see what they can't.

            As Gackt walked into the room, he merely glanced at Kami before starting up a conversation with a roadie and Kami's heart broke. They had been such good friends before but that had clearly been destroyed by one stupid mistake. Gackt's coldness now was like a bullet straight through his heart and he wondered how on earth he was meant to carry on. Why on earth had he slept with him? Now Gackt was so uncomfortable he couldn't even talk to him and he was far too shy to start up a conversation of his own.

            To make matters worse, he simply couldn't pass off their night as a drunken mistake. It meant too much to him for that. His heart was now firmly clenched in Gackt's metaphorical hands and to his horror the other was crushing it, refusing to let go. He couldn't love anyone else but to love Gackt was the worst thing he could possibly do.

            How had such pleasure turned to this? He remembered the night clearly, how the second it was over Gackt had made his excuses and left Kami alone and ashamed but secretly smug. At least he had that night to remember. Perhaps it would be better for him if he hadn't?

            The day passed slowly and painfully, with Gackt treating him as a stranger and he just wished he could curl up in bed and forget it all. He knew he needed to talk to the vocalist about what had happened, laugh it off as just one of those things but right now he couldn't. It wasn't a joke and it wasn't one of those things. Not to him anyway.

            Eventually the day was over and not feeling like cooking, he ordered pizza and collapsed on the sofa, hugging his dog as he watched a lame film on the TV. He was miserable and lonely but only time could heal those wounds.

            Happy to sulk all night, Kami was annoyed to hear the hammering on his door. Who was knocking so persistently? Frustrated he got up and opened the door to find a pissed of blond man glaring at him. It took him a moment to recognise him as Gackt's best friend You and startled he invited the man in, wondering why on earth he was here.

            “What is your deal?” You demanded, hands on his hips and a dangerous look in his eyes.

            “Excuse me?” Kami asked, completely puzzled to why You was so mad at him.

            “Don't act innocent with me, I don't fall for your angelic act,” You snapped. “You only went and fucked Gackt, only to leave him cold.”

            “Excuse me? He's the one who made lame excuses to leave and then refused to even talk to me!” Kami exclaimed, hurt by the accusation and by the fact that Gackt had clearly spread this news around.

            “Lame excuses to leave?” You repeated and then slowly he began to smile and then laugh. “Idiot! Of course they were lame, he wanted you to ask him to stay the night!”

            “Then why did he make excuses at all?” Kami demanded.

            “Because he's far too polite to stay unwanted!” You replied, shaking his head in amazement. “Let me guess what happened, you wanted him to stay, he wanted to stay but you were both too stupid to realise this?”

            “I don't think he wanted to stay,” Kami replied. “Why would he? He hasn't spoken to me all day.”

            “He's racked with guilt,” You replied. “He thinks he used you and you hate him now. He says the same things again and again 'Kami isn't even talking to me wah wah wah'. God, you're a pair of morons!”

            “I don't hate Gackt!” Kami exclaimed in shock, as it all fitted into place. “Is he really mad at himself?”

            “He's eating ice cream,” You replied, glancing at the empty pizza box on Kami's table “And you're eating pizza? Let me guess, comfort food?”

            “Yeah.” Kami admitted but shaking his head You appeared merely amused.

“My advice, go talk to Gackt. I'll leave you to it.” He added turning to leave. Stunned Kami watched him go and slowly picked up the phone and dialled the vocalist’s number from memory.

            “Gackt, it's Kami,” Kami said nervously, as the other picked up his phone. “You'll never guess who came around here.”

            “Oh God, I told him not too!” Gackt exclaimed, clearly pissed off.

            “No, I'm glad he did,” Kami replied quickly, not wanting the other to be mad at the one man who had seen the truth. “Last night, I had a great time and I wanted you to stay but I thought you wanted to leave. You said you were just after an invite?”    

            “You should mind his own business,” Gackt muttered. “But yeah, I kind of was.”

            “I'm sorry. I never realised!” Kami exclaimed. “You know I'm no good with tact. I thought you were ashamed and wanted to leave.”

            “I was ashamed for having used you.” Gackt replied.

            “You didn't! I loved every minute,” Kami reassured him. “Only then you left me alone and wouldn't even talk to me today.”

            “I was so guilty,” Gackt explained. “You didn't think I was mad at you, did you?”

            “Yes.” Kami replied and he heard Gackt sigh on the other end of the phone.

            “Tell you what. How about I come around tonight and we do this properly?” Gackt suggested. “All the post sex stuff couples do, that we were both too idiotic to realise the other wanted?”

            “That would be nice,” Kami replied smiling. “Does this mean we're a couple now?”

            “It means.... yes, it means just that,” Gackt decided. “I'll see you soon.”     

            “See ya,” Kami replied with a huge smile as he hung up the phone and began to sort out his apartment and his own appearance. This time he wouldn't hesitate to speak up about what he wanted, as he was pretty sure it would be what Gackt wanted too.


	46. Changing For You

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> When Gackt changed Kami into a vampire, he never suspected that the other would change him.

            **U** nder the bright street light you look like an angel. I want to hold you, touch you, caress your skin but I'm scared that if I give in to this desire I'll give in to all my desires. You see I'm a vampire and though I want to love you like a man, in the end the blood lust will strike and your life will end. I don't want that and so I stay away.

 

            **K** ami I'm sorry, I've tried but I can't stay away. I think I've fallen in love with you. I'm going to make you mine. I'm selfish and cruel but that's the way we vampires are made. You'll understand, when I make you like me.

 

            **Y** ou awake from the transformation and look at me with eyes that show nothing but love. You're a fool to love the creature who killed you but I don't care. You are my everything and from now on I'll be your knight. I won't hurt you again and I won't let anybody else hurt you either.

 

            **O** pening the door, you step out into the world and look at it as if it's your first time. Perspective changes when you become a creature of the night and so what you see now, isn't what a human would have seen. You're a predator, the top of all food chains, and you have no fear.

 

 **U** nsurprisingly you take to the vampire life quickly. You never were one to struggle with change and I am proud of the vampire I have created.

 

 

            **K** nowledge is power so I shall share with you the easiest way to hunt; Seduction. Humans are weak creatures, controlled by their emotions and they fall in love easily. Especially when approached by creatures as beautiful as ourselves. I don't care how far you need to go before you can make your kill because you will never love a human the way you love me.

 

            **A** lthough did I not fall in love with a human myself? I fell for you, did I not? I fell for your grace and kindness that still exists but only when around another vampire. Humans are cattle but you weren't like them. You were that one animal the farmer takes pity for and keeps as a pet.

 

            **M** an is weak, pitiful and slow. This is what you tell me when I express my guilt for taking your life and I'm slowly beginning to agree. I realise that without you by my side I was becoming soft, actually having pity for my victims but you've seen to that. You're cruel, worse than I've even been but to me you are nothing but loving and gentle. The two of us against the world, this is how things were meant to be.

 

            **I** don't fear you, though others have begun to. I know you will never hurt me, though now you're actually turning against our own kind. What has become of you? I have created a monster! I realise now that all this time you were changing me, making me cruel and heartless and it worked. I promised to stand by your side through our immortal life and I will never break a promise to you.

 

            **M** ake this planet our own! Let's rule humanity! As King and loyal Knight. You deserve the power. I will give you everything. We shall rule together!

 

            **U** nfortunately to rule, we need to defeat the current vampire king. It should be easy enough. Compared to us he is weak and won't be expecting a mutiny. As vampire king you shall rule our kind and wage war against the humans. Put us vampires on top, where we belong!

 

            **R** iots ensue and vampires are killed from both sides, you collected quite an army but it wasn't enough. You fall and I scream in rage. Dust fills the air as I kill vampires like a berserker, though I never killed the king.

 

            **A** nd now I find myself joining you in death. I suppose we weren't so immortal after all.


	47. Regret

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Once again it's up to Gackt to bring back Kami's smile.

            Kami was upset but trying his best to hide it as he didn't want to worry Gackt, who was here with him in their dressing room. With a quiet sigh he picked up his comb and began to work on the knots that had appeared in his hair during practise but when the comb stuck and he had to yank it out, taking hair with it, he threw it across the room in a fit. Perhaps he should just cut all his hair off? Go bald? This just wasn't worth it any more.

            “Careful!” Gackt complained as he ducked the flying comb and gave Kami a look. “Flying combs can be lethal you know.”

            “Sorry.” Kami muttered, his heart not in it. Sensing Kami was upset about something, Gackt quietly picked up the comb and ran it through Kami's hair, gentling de-tangling the knots as he found them. He said nothing about Kami's mood, knowing that if the other wanted to talk he would do so.

            “I don't know why you're bothering. I'm going to shave it all off,” Kami spoke up but Gackt ignored him as this wasn't the first time Közi had threatened his hair. He'd never go through with it, so it wasn't worth any attention. “Seriously Gackt, what's the point in anything?”

            “Well don't you think the most pointless of things, are the most fun?” Gackt asked.

            “Yes, but then somebody shoots down your ideas and makes you feel like an insignificant member of the band.” Kami replied and Gackt figured out what had upset the drummer. Earlier that day Kami had come in with pages of music he had composed, only to have it tossed away with barely a glance from Mana.

            “He didn't even look at that music,” Gackt replied. “He was just objecting to anybody other than himself writing music.”

            “Közi gets to compose songs!” Kami argued.

            “Közi's sleeping with his boss,” Gackt replied. “And I'm not talking about the record label or our manager here. He gives our precious band leader sexual pleasure and...”

            “Ewww!” Kami exclaimed. “I don't want to know!”

            “You do, because it explains why precious Közi gets to compose songs and we don't.” Gackt replied.

            “How do you know this?” Kami asked.

            “Yu~ki told me. He was upset one day because Mana rejected his songs as coldly as he did yours. Apparently he stormed into Mana's room to confront our lovable band leader and witnessed something he wished he hadn't.” Gackt explained.

            “It's still not right!” Kami complained and Gackt nodded his agreement, as he quietly continued to comb Kami's long hair.

            “I have an idea!” Gackt suddenly announced, handing the comb to Kami and leaving the room. With a sigh Kami continued to comb his hair that was a lot better now Gackt had got away the worst of the tangles. Maybe five minutes later he heard sounds from in the hall, that sounded like heavy furniture being moved around and puzzled he put the comb to one side and went to see what Gackt was up too.

            He only made it two steps out of the room, as a grand piano was now blocking the corridor and a grinning Gackt was straightening out some creased paper. Kami already suspected what Gackt was doing and sure enough, as soon as Gackt had settled down at the piano he began to play the music written on the sheets that he'd retrieved from the bin.

            It wasn't exactly like Kami had written, Gackt's influence was in there too, distorting it into a beautiful lullaby and Kami smiled in delight. Gackt was just so thoughtful and eccentric and Kami loved it.

            “I figure we can add your drum part here.” Gackt informed Kami, who nodded his agreement as he silently heard the drum part he had written the night before.

            “It needs a bit of adjusting but yeah.” Kami agreed.

            “Well it is a work in progress,” Gackt agreed. “Do you mind if I name the piece?”

            “I'll listen to your suggestion.” Kami agreed.

            “Well when Mana hears this, he's going to regret ever throwing your music in the bin.” Gackt answered cryptically and Kami grinned in delight.

            “Regret!” He replied and Gackt nodded his agreement, as he continued the piano piece to the end.


	48. What's Mine Is Yours

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Gackt has a hard day at work, but Kami is there to make the stress go away.

            I walk into my home and throw my keys at the table by the door. Some days I get so sick of being in this band. Why am I still been treated like the new comer? It’s been two years. All I want is my fair share of creative choice. I’m not even allowed that. So what if I cut my hair without asking his highness’s permission? It’s my hair.

            Still I knew Mana would be mad. I gave up trying to please him. Mana’s controlling nature is part of my job and I put up with it because there’s still part of me that loves this band. I love being on stage with the fans calling my name. I love how the interviewers are always scared of us. I love the fan mail from people letting me know they care. I especially love the fan fiction. Especially when the fans get it right. It’s not Mana I love, it’s Kami.

Kami is an angel among demons and I, the blackest of us all, am attracted to his light like a moth to a flame. Only to find the flame is a butterfly that isn’t afraid of the darkness within me. His light guides my way and I don’t know how I ever survived without him.

            Sometimes Kami and I will act out the scenes that our fans send us. If it’s possible. I won’t hurt Kami and he won’t hurt me but we’re both willing to experiment in any other way. The best are the ones written in English and Kami is struggling with the words. I have to just throw him down then, our role play forgotten.

            “Hard day?” Kami whispers in my ear, as he slips his arms around my waist. I can smell the faint traces of women’s perfume on him. No he hasn’t been cheating, this is his own special scent.

            I never invited Kami here but I’m not surprised. He has his own key and I was hoping he’d be here to welcome me home. It’s always so much nicer to come home to him than an empty house.

            “Yeah.” I admit. I’m glad Kami got to leave the recording studio early. He’d only cry if he’d been there. He can’t stand to see us fight. He’s terrified that one day I’ll leave the band.

            “Did you fight with Mana?” Kami asked. “I know he wasn’t happy about your hair.”

            “Yeah. But that happens most days. I’m immune to it.” I respond.

            “I like your hair. It’s sexy.” Kami remarked and I have to kiss him now, to let him know how thankful I am for his comment.

            “Közi had a go at me too,” I remark. “And then Yu~ki had to join in. He never likes being left out. He has a phobia that we’ll all forget about him if he doesn’t speak up.”

            “I’m sorry I wasn’t there. It sounds like you needed an ally.” Kami said sadly.

            “Don’t be sorry. I’m a grown man,” I reply. “A grown man who needs help with his stress.”

            “I’ll give you a massage.” Kami said flashing me a smile.

            “Sounds good.” I remark and kiss him again. How I love the taste of Kami’s lips. I could kiss him all day if he’d let me, but he won’t let me. He’s already leading me towards the bedroom. My bedroom, our bedroom. It’s all the same to me now. What’s mine is his.

            In my room I let Kami remove my clothes and lie on the bed. His hands are on my back and I finally start to relax. He really is good at this and I sigh happily as he massages my back and my neck. His hands are on my shoulders now and we haven’t said a word. I can hear the sounds of rap music coming up from outside but even that doesn’t ruin my mood.

            Kami’s hands move onto my ass and I smile. So he has other ideas, I’m not surprised. Still I won’t let him take advantage of me and I roll over onto my back. A gentle reminded that I’m always on top.

            “Spoil sport. I’m trying to give you a massage.” Kami sulks.

            “Well massage my front then.” I reply cheekily. He gets my message and I watch him get onto the bed and kneel besides me.

            Now he’s massaging a far more intimate area and I let out a small moan. I watch his face, which is a picture of concentration, until I can’t take it anymore. I shut my eyes and just enjoy his touch. Obviously the attention of such a beautiful man sends my blood southwards and I can feel myself going hard beneath his touch. I’m not embarrassed in the slightest to be so vulnerable before him. As I said before, what’s mine is his, and that applies to my body.

            Kami knows what to do to give me pleasure and his massage turns into hard strokes along my length. My breathing quickens as his touch sends more and more pleasure up my spine.

            “Oh Kami,” I gasp. “I love you.” And then I forget his presence. I’m lost in waves of pleasure. It almost feels like I’m drowning. I want to drown in this. I want to be swallowed up whole and stay here where the only emotion is pure and utter happiness but it doesn’t last. I’m lying on my bed gasping for air. I think I called his name, I can’t remember. Slowly I open my eyes and I am almost blinded by the light of the room. I block it all out and focus on Kami, only he matters. I watch as he licks his hand clean, he knows I’m watching and he’s deliberately taking his time. Making it last. Well I do the same thing when the situation is reversed.

            “Go take a shower.” Kami whispered.

            “What about you?” I ask.

            “I can wait for later.” Kami said with a shrug. I watch him go and just lie there. I can hear the kitchen taps running as he washes his hands properly. I lie here until he returns. He looks annoyed with me.

            “Why aren’t you in the shower?” He demands.

            “Because I’m tired.” I mutter.

            “Get in the shower.” Kami orders pulling me up. I groan but I do as he says. Now everyone is annoyed with me and my selfish ways. Somehow, I don’t seem to care. I’ll make it up to Kami later. I always do. After all he belongs to me, just as much as I belong to him.


	49. Precious

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Kami has nothing to wear and Gackt is waiting for him.

            Gackt was waiting for him downstairs and he knew he should be quick but he just couldn't decide what to wear. Nothing he owned seemed right for the venue Gackt had chosen for their date. He was the kind of man who wore clothes for comfort more than style and with the exception of some formal suits, he had nothing but jeans, t-shirts and work out gear. None of this was right for the restaurant. He needed a shirt and trousers but the few he owned seemed tacky in comparison to the outfit Gackt had chosen.

            Gackt of course had clothes that were perfect for any occasion. He always had been fashion conscious and right now Kami wished he too had paid more attention. He loved shopping, finding bargains, trying things on that he'd never even dream of buying but he'd always been brought up to watch his yen. You bought what you needed as cheap as you could, or something expensive if it was made to last. You didn't waste it on frivolous things.

            Deciding for the eleventh time he truly had nothing, Kami turned and looked at Gackt's side and the vast away of clothes that hung up there in perfectly neat lines. How would the vocalist react if he borrowed some? He was desperate and surely Gackt would like him to look presentable?

            He had no time, Gackt had shouted at him three times to hurry up now and so Kami went for the plunge and quickly searched through Gackt's clothes, finding a deep red shirt and pairing them with the black trousers of one of his own suits. There, he looked presentable now at least.

 

            Gackt paced back and forth getting frustrated. If he'd known the drummer would have taken this long he wouldn't have suggested they had some fun in the shower. Was this what a straight man felt like waiting for his girlfriend to be ready? Perhaps but surely these men knew to expect it and told their girlfriends they had to leave half an hour before they really did. That was what he'd do, perhaps he should start such a technique with his own lover?

            Finally he heard footsteps on the stairs and he turned to smile at his lover, freezing as he saw what his lover was wearing. They'd never shared clothes before and he always was so possessive of them. He loved every piece of clothing he owned and thought of them as exclusively his.

            “This is OK right?” Kami asked, worried by Gackt's silence. “I had nothing to wear. I'll change if you want.”

            “I want to rip it off you,” Gackt replied. “I just can't decide if that's because I'm angry or horny.”

            “Let's go with the second one?” Kami asked hopefully.

            “Let's. Tomorrow we are going shopping and you are finally going to indulge in some nice things,” Gackt warned, sounding mad though the arm he wrapped around Kami's waist suggested otherwise. “You see that shirt is very important to me and I don't want it getting damaged. That would make me mad and I wouldn't know what to do about it. I'd hurt the wearer but he'd more precious than my shirt, so the only solution is to make sure nothing bad happens to that shirt.”

            “I feel so honoured to be more valued than a shirt.” Kami teased but Gackt was entirely serious and only gave him a warning look before leading the drummer to his car. Perhaps been more valuable to Gackt than his clothes truly was a compliment then? If that was so, then how much did Gackt love him to let him wear his clothes? It must be a lot and for that Kami was eternally happy.


	50. Hated

            As the young man walked down the street, people fell silent as he passed and only started talking once he was out of earshot. Intentionally cruel comments, that the pretty man wasn't supposed to hear but sometimes did and could always guess at.

            Entering a shop, the staff watched him with wary eyes, though he was no thief and had never been anything but an honest citizen. He bought what he has come for and offers his thanks, though it is unaccepted. Leaving he continues as if he is unaware of the undeserved hate and carries out his business as any man would.

            Afterwards he heads towards a local park, where a beautiful dark-haired man is waiting and they sit together on a park bench and begin to eat the food the man has just bought before eventually walking home together hand in hand. Neither man has ever done anything wrong but the dark-haired man is probably hated more than his red-haired lover. He's more vocal about things and doesn't always let things slide, like his lover does.

            Reaching their home, they shut the door and the shields they have placed around each other crack and they’re free to show their vulnerability, if only to each other. Their love makes them stronger and they know tomorrow they will be strong enough to face the world that hates them once more. Together they can cope with anything but it is being together that makes them hated.


End file.
